For the past month, I’ve been hosting weekly chats on Twitter. They have nothing to do with HR. Each week, the audience tackles failure from a different angle. We’ve talked about “generalized failure disorder,” relationships and managing difficult people at work. The audience is expanding, and the person-to-person interaction is growing more fun and entertaining with each passing chat. This coming Monday, we’re going to talk about politics. Please, don’t run away from this. Yes, politics are awful to discuss. Twiter fights are brutal. You know that guy.

There’s another new HR technology conference on the scene. It’s called HR Tech World San Francisco. The company that organizes this event has a foothold in Europe. Now they’re coming to the states with a pretty stellar line-up of speakers and a desire to clean up the American HR technology conference market. You ask — “Aren’t there 600 HR technology conferences?” ” The answer is yes and no. Wait, technically, all of this is an infomercial to get you to spend some money. And, technically, none of this is HR technology. Hubris. almost had a stroke.

I just spent the day learning how to tell better stories with Dr. Nick Morgan of Public Words. It’s amazing that I’ve gone this far in my career as a speaker with very limited training. I don’t know anything about the mechanics of building a great speech, and don’t get me started on my ability to perform. But, it turns out, I’m an okay mimic. I see what I like, and I copy from the best. If I could only start breathing properly and get my voice out of my throat, I would clean up in this market! Anyway, now I understand that there are five types of keynote speeches.

An EpiPen saved my life on Saturday night. Well, it saved me a trip to the emergency room. have food allergies and ate something off my husband’s plate that caused an anaphylactic reaction. My lips began to tingle. My throat started to close. struggled to breathe, and my body attempted to throw up the food I just ate. It was gross and scary. The EpiPen, which is a medical device that administered epinephrine into my body , worked like a charm. I’m telling you this because food allergies are no joke. The kid had an allergic reaction to ice cream. Yeah, man. Neighbors. Worthless.

My friend, Steve Browne , hates it when people descend into the “tarpit of generational discussions.” ” He’s right. There are too many generalizations and stereotypes that weigh down our meaningful discussions. But I’ve been blogging since February 2004, and I have at least two generations of readers who have been with me for my entire journey. And I’ve been with them through their career journeys, too. Some of my Gen X HR readers are now VPs. Generational differences are really just phases, right?). Your family is your family. They don’t feel loved.

We had a great #failchat on Monday about “Generalized Failure Disorder,” which was a fake name for being human. took a poll at the end of the chat, and this Monday’s topic will be “relationships.” ” I constantly fail at maintaining and nurturing my personal and professional relationships, and I hope we can have an honest and helpful conversation about why most of us suck at being good friends, neighbors and colleagues. And if you don’t know what a Twitter chat is, that’s okay. Or have a look at this summary to see how we had fun.

I went to HR Tech, last week. It’s a conference where a bunch of HR technology companies showcase the latest and greatest iterations of their software. It’s also a place where people called “HR tech analysts” go behind the scenes in a “briefing room,” which is just a beige-on-taupe room that’s always too hot or too cold, and meet with technology companies. They usually tell them what’s wrong with their software. So, wait, let’s step back. What are HR tech analysts? Well, definitions vary widely. Those analysts may be independent. TBD.).

Right now, I’m in a transition mode. I am moving from D-list HR blogger and speaker to the founder of a software company. And, if I’m honest with you, it’s uncomfortable. Everything is 100% harder than necessary. Unlike what you read on Breitbart, doors do not open because of affirmative action. Nobody is handing me a wad of cash and patting me on the back for being a woman who is interested in STEM. In fact, Machiavellian dudes who rule over “start-up culture” have created a model where you must struggle to be credible. F**k that! Such a failed model! Budgets.

My politics are a little less than mainstream. I’m a pro-choice secular humanist, a vegetarian, and someone who believes in the right to protect myself and shoot a sexual predator in the face. vote Democratic because I like roads and schools, but it’s not like I’m all that impressed with the streets near my house or your kids who can’t do math. I’d like to pay less in taxes because most of my tax money is wasted on war and a federal food policy that kills animals and makes us sick. So even though #imwithher, I can’t call Trump supporters “deplorables.”

I’ve spent the past six months talking to HR and recruiting professionals about failure. Unfortunately, nobody cared about enterprise failure until I started talking about my life. My maternal grandmother was a strategic optimist. When she became accidentally pregnant at the age of 20, she married the guy and had four kids. When the guy was mean to her, she accepted it. When he cheated on her, she always took him back. She once told me, “I had no choice. Failure wasn’t an option.” ” Of course, failure is always an option. My Gramma was in denial.

I’m launching the inaugural #failchat on Monday, October 17th at 1PM ET. Our topic? Generalized Failure Disorder. What the hell is Generalized Failure Disorder? It’s nothing. It’s fake. It’s being human. Data shows that most of us fail in the same ten ways over and over again, and we learn how to manage failure — or not — from our families and the important people in our lives. And psychologists regularly demonstrate that failure isn’t a big deal. Basically, failure is just part a boring part of life. You know, much like eating and pooping. failchat.

My HR career is in failure mode. It’s no surprise. The signs have been there for a while. think it began in 2013 when I spoke at a conference with Kris Dunn and had a hotel room that overlooked a dumpster. It hasn’t picked up since. Yes, I’ve travelled all over the world and had a ton of amazing experiences. also just stood on three reams of paper in a co-working space and begged HR ladies to be a little more disruptive and innovative. Good grief. What the hell has become of me? GlitchPath  will help you predict and beat failure. Maybe. Fingers crossed. Careers. Politics.

You could do worse than having three middle-age white guys as friends. Trust me. Somebody’s always giving me good advice, I’m never alone, and I’m not allowed to take myself too seriously. It’s not bad having friends like these! The post You Wish You Had These Friends  appeared first on Laurie Ruettimann.

My HR consulting career is in a lull. It happens. No big deal. wanted to create some friction in my life. I’m trying to work on my start-up and mostly ignoring my consultancy except when business falls into my lap. And here’s a lesson from Warren Buffet: that’s not how business happens.). You can’t spend a billion hours a day working on a start-up — just like you can’t spend a billion hours being a rock star or working at Waffle House — so I decided to start volunteering. know that I can’t volunteer with animals. For one, I keep them. Dammit.

My friend, Lars Schmidt , lost his brother to an opioid addiction. always wonder — how does that happen? Where does that begin? If you’re middle-class and generally educated, how do things go wrong? Well, it goes wrong pretty easily. Or so I’m told. If you’re interested in learning more about opioid addiction — how you can help, how you can get yourself help, how you can get more information on what it’s doing to our society — check out Lars’s tribute page to his brother. Please read his posts on Medium. Always. But opioid addiction is real, too.

I have a mean aunt who lives on the west coast. I’m not sure she would call herself mean, but she’s an elderly woman who is angry with me because I’m basically a worthless family member. And, you know, she’s right. When it comes to my family of origin, I don’t do much for the people who love me. Turns out that familial love is subjective, and, often, a one-way street.). Anyway, about a decade ago, my aunt was infuriated with me. She sent me an email that said, “You’re nothing but a childless liberal.” But my mind went elsewhere. Families, man!

This week is the HR Technology & Conference Expo in Chicago. It goes without saying, but I write the best guides to having fun and learning about technology at HR Tech. There are other guides out there, but they could be better. It’s just a fact. Nobody brings you HR Tech coverage like me. Nobody. I’ve been reading blog posts from my friends in the HR blogging and analyst community — and they are tremendous friends — but I’m disappointed. I don’t know, but it seems to me we’re losing out there. Where’s the fun? Where’s the creativity? Nobody. Wrong.

I used to be the Peyton Manning of the HR Technology Conference & Exposition. Well, okay, no. Peyton Manning has natural skills and abilities. He has raw talent. I was Peyton Manning in that I saw myself as the leader of a new generation of HR professionals who were embracing HR technology as an integral part of their jobs. I’m the kid who has Peyton Manning’s poster on his wall and thinks, yeah man, I’m somebody. And while I was a big deal in my head, there’s a weird paradoxical element to the story: I’m not nobody. You just get me. It stings a little.

It’s HR conference season, which means I’m on the road talking to a bunch of human resources and recruiting professionals about failure. I’ve taken a new approach to keynoting. I’m sharing bits and pieces of my personal story, which is a little scary for me. talk about everything from my grandmother’s unintended pregnancy to my failed HR career as examples of how failure is like Kelly Clarkson: it can either kill you or make you stronger. also provide an overview of the science behind failure. Anyway, I’m still working out the kinks with my personal story.

It used to be easy to motivate workers. You would just give them feedback and tell them — if you want to earn more money, do better and do more of it. Now everybody and your mother is a workplace expert because it’s so dang trendy on the internet. So here’s some of the best advice I’ve collected from smart people who think they know how to turn your employees into finely-tuned, engaged robots workers. 1. Tell a story about yourself where you’ve overcome desperate odds to be successful. Everybody likes to hear you talk about yourself. 2. Attend a conference.

During a week when Time Magazine wondered why the internet is so full of rage , and Leslie Jones’s personal website was hacked , I learned that some of Kobe Bryant’s fans want to rape me. Not all of his fans. Just a few on Twitter. tweeted about a past rape allegation against Kobe Bryant on “Kobe Bryant Day.” ” And that’s when the floodgates opened. Yes, I received rape threats. More importantly, I learned that Kobe once dropped 81 points so he gets one rape. And a few thought I should kill myself. also found out that I’m an autist. The Response.

About a year ago, many of my clients became sick of email and asked me to join them over on Slack. What is Slack ? Well, it’s basically inter-office-email plus AOL instant messenger plus storage for files. You can do emoji, and there are folders called “channels.” ” So it pretty much feels like email 2.0 to me. I’m a writer, and I will abuse whatever the hell platform you put in front of me. Instant message? Email? Don’t tell me you’re sick of hearing from me. You can always turn off your phone, but I can’t turn off my brain. Thanks, HR Tech!

A couple of months ago, I attended an event where a bunch of HR ladies discussed talent-related topics and drank champagne and rosé. (It’s too bad. didn’t know that bubbles had jumped the shark.). jumped the shark a long time ago, and I never say no to free champagne. So I joined the ladies in a bunch of meaningless chit chat about the future of HR. My verdict? It’s all very boring. Let’s talk about something else. That’s when one of them decided to tell me what she thinks of me. “You know what’s dangerous about your blog? And I have no equals.

I have a working theory that 92% of an HR leader’s job is managing expectations. People bring their issues to work. Whether it’s a stage-of-life problem or a money problem, nobody ever shows up to a job without their personality quirks. When those irregular characteristics manifest themselves in the form of conflict, HR is often asked to swoop in and provide counseling and comfort to workers who are disappointed in themselves and the world around them. HR knows the truth. Nobody gets rich or solves emotional problems from working. And they become 92% of HR’s concerns.

I know everybody in America is mad at Ryan Lochte. Rightly so. He’s a fool and solely responsible for the lies that spewed from his lips. But I’m also annoyed by NBC’s coverage of the Rio Olympics. You know the lines between journalism and entertainment are blurred when Billy Bush — a cousin to George W. Bush and a journalist one step above Mario Lopez — is, mouth agape, interviewing a visibly drunk Olympic athlete on live television and not probing on critical issues related to the story. Like: You know, Ryan Lochte, I hear you. You’ve been victimized. What happened?

There is a weird phenomenon happening in human resources departments around the globe. Far too many people in HR are suffering from learned helplessness. Learned helplessness is a psychological condition that commonly describes victims of abuse and neglect. Those poor souls give up on themselves. They see themselves as perpetual victims — even when they’re not. Learned helplessness makes you feel like you have no control, so you give up trying. In many ways, it’s an extreme version of self-handicapping that stems from severe psychological trauma. think so. Or find a new job.

Last month, I delivered a speech to the 2016 graduating class at Regent’s University London. They have eight colleges under the larger university, and I spoke to the American College (which I attended) and the school of fashion and design. The ceremony was at St. Marylebone Parish Church where Elizabeth Barrett Browning and Robert Browning were married in secret back on September 12, 1846. So it’s pretty much me and two famous poets. Jennifer McClure came with me and said that the hands-in-the-pocket thing wasn’t so bad. Mostly because I was behind a large podium.)

A friend of mine recommended a book called Traction. Have you heard of it? He thought that my consulting company and my software company could benefit from implementing The EOS Model™. What is the EOS Model™? Well, it’s a framework to help founders and CEOs understand everything from people to internal processes. Very simply, it’s just another way to run your business. There are a million models out there. Pick one. liked the book because I’m bad on processes. (“It’s all in my head, man.”) waste a lot of time on inefficient business practices. You and me?

I just finished The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone. The book chronicles the author’s experience with loneliness but also weaves in stories of art, AIDS, masculinity, feminism, sexual deviance, and the emergence of technology as a mechanism to overcome social isolation. Yeah, totally uplifting. But it was so superbly written that you forget you’re reading about pain, despair, and emotional disconnection. In fact, the book was comforting because it was a reminder that loneliness can be an affliction but isn’t necessarily a permanent state of being.

Being a small business owner is something else. I’m having a weird week, culminating in a meeting that never should have happened. Here’s the story. company reached out to me because it thought I could offer some help with an organic marketing plan, which means free advice. I’m in a weird spot. As a marketing generalist, I always take the call. I’m not looking to provide free advice, but when someone is referred to me and thinks highly of my skills, I’m always happy to help with guidance and connections. We had to postpone the call a few times. Use your words.

Hold the phone. You know it’s the 90s when we’re discussing politics and sexual harassment. received a barrage of email from disaffected readers who are aggrieved by yesterday’s article on human resources, sexual harassment, and Fox News. Aggrieved! The emails fall into one of two categories. My advice was horrible. Chicks lie. Let’s take the first objection first. wrote, “for every one victim [of sexual harassment], there are two who haven’t come forward.” ” Some readers feel like that guidance is profoundly wrong. You know what? His math played out.

I’m not surprised by anything, anymore, but I am shocked by the number of women who have been allegedly harassed by Roger Ailes and other members of the Fox News executive team. Dozens have come forward. In HR, we have a rule of thumb when it comes to sexual harassment complaints: for every one victim, there are two who haven’t come forward. So we multiply the victim number by three to comprehend how many people were harassed. And speaking of HR, where the hell were they during the past decade at Fox News ? know, I know. There’s a point where HR becomes complicit.

My friends are bad with computers. It’s interesting because they are the earliest adopters of social media and blogging. They’re not just early adopters in the human resources industry. They’re among the earliest adopters in the world. But they just don’t do computers. That’s fine. Leave the infrastructure stuff to the experts. Unfortunately, they are currently hosting their blogs on some two-bit server in another friend’s basement. And the friend with the server? He’s awesome, but he’s not an IT help desk. He’s got a life. That stops today.

They say that millennials don’t use LinkedIn. Who says that? Everybody competing against LinkedIn, that’s who. But I think it’s probably true. Millennials don’t use LinkedIn because they just don’t have time in their lives to look at failed professional dreams, sad profile photos, and mediocre work histories. I don’t have time for that, either. The best part of LinkedIn is getting off LinkedIn and getting back to my pathetic career. But if millennials don’t use LinkedIn to look for jobs or talk about their careers, what do they use? 1. Publications.

Most of HR technology is SaaS technology. What is that? Software as a Service ( SaaS ; pronounced /sæs/) is a software licensing and delivery model in which software is licensed on a subscription basis and is centrally hosted. It is sometimes referred to as “on-demand software.”  ”  SaaS  is typically accessed by users using a thin client via a web browser. Most companies offer their services in SaaS bundles that resemble your cable bill. Sorta. Basic. This is almost always free and described as “plug-and-play.” If you need help, you go to the internet. Premium.

Want to know what’s trending in HR tech? Big data. Also known as the phrase you’re misusing. It’s the beast that won’t go away. Nobody knows what it is and everybody fears it. Customer experience. Some call this CX and others call this UX because there are gradations of customer and user experiences. Anyway, I have no idea why it’s trendy to suddenly care about customers and users. think that’s core and critical to your business. Simplification. Yeah, no joke. Simple tech is better tech. Also, water is wet. Legacy thinking. Maybe. Integration. Mobile.

Here are 9 steps to streamline the hiring process. Don’t lose anybody. Make sure your good people don’t quit. Don’t hire stupid people. Then you don’t have to fire anybody. Use the internet. People look for jobs on the web. Read the resumes people send you. I bet there’s a winner in there. When someone hands you a referral, follow up on it. Yeah, this is important. When you ask someone to interview for a job, maybe knock out a few interviews for that person at once. Nobody likes taking time off their current job and driving back-and-forth for seventeen interviews.

Hi, everybody. Today is the big day. I’m addressing the graduates of Regent’s University London. I’m excited about my speech. There are almost 200 graduates and about 700 people will attend the ceremony. Due to time constraints — and faculty who want to wrap this up quickly — my designated time has been reduced considerably. I’m now tasked with being brief, inspirational, and encouraging. The goal? Get these graduates to sign up for the alumni association! Quite different than the original plan. Wish me luck. Love, Laurie. Life Work

My cat, Roxy, is mesmerized by the M.I.L.F. video. If you don’t know anything about it — and why would you because you have taste? — here’s the description from Wikipedia: Set in a candy-colored town called “ Milfville ,” it features Fergie with a group of famous mothers, including Kim Kardashian West, Chrissy Teigen, Alessandra Ambrosio, Ciara, Gemma Ward, Tara Lynn, Devon Aoki, Angela Lindvall, Isabeli Fontana, Amber Valletta, and Natasha Poly as lingerie-clad 1950s housewives. The video ends with several mothers each shooting their own “Got Milf?”

The one area where I’ve consistently failed during my entire career is office politics. I’m so bad at it. When I first started working, I could barely navigate the landscape of my HR department. walked into a minefield of hormones, broken promises, and horizontal envy. thought the way to make a name for myself was to stand out like an alpha. Unfortunately, I was five feet tall and not very impressive. mostly just acted like a brat. Once I understood the hierarchy of HR — and how I would always be at the bottom — I looked out at other departments. Maybe.

Here are my top 5 issues for HR professionals that will impact your job for the rest of 2016. The election. I’ve been telling you for years that HR sits at the intersection of work, power, politics and money. This election is an HR election. Watch accordingly. HDHPs. High-deductible health plans are all the rage. Too bad most Americans can’t manage their money or health. If you’re not up-to-speed on what’s happening in healthcare, you might be too late to make a difference and impact your company’s strategy. Student loan debt. Good luck with your staffing plans.

There’s a movement in my industry called “HR Positive.”. You guys are sharp. I don’t need to draw you a map. It’s about saying positive things about HR and being helpful instead of critical. Being positive is a good way to live your life. Why be a jerk if you don’t have to be a jerk? Nothing good comes from incessant nit-picking and infighting. like to think that I’m HR-positive. know you don’t believe me, but it’s true. Skeptics like me believe that things are flawed and broken. But here’s the cool thing: we notice the flaws because we can see the hopeful possibilities. Fired, you guys. Ripped

I’m headed off to India in less than a month for TechHR16. I’m super excited to attend. It’s wonderful to meet HR leaders and recruiters from around the world. And, based on my networking schedule alone, I will be jetlagged and hoarse when I’m done with the event. Kind of cool. Then I’m off to see the Taj Mahal. But traveling to India is no joke. I am not on top of my vaccinations, so I contacted Passport Health and arranged an overview. expected to get a few shots and be sent on my way. It was awesome and insane. There are different ways to die all over the world.

My social media diet failed. More specifically, I failed at giving up social media and watching the news for thirty days. June was a heartbreaker of a month. Avoiding the press coverage of Orlando was tough. The Supreme Court made historic rulings that were important to me. Also, Istanbul. So much. Too much. When it was pretty clear that staying off social media 100% wasn’t going to work, I made a pact with myself to check my feeds 2x day. But that was the wrong move because lurking is just a nice way of saying “stalking.” But I’m on to my next monthly challenge.

When someone is depressed and asks me for career coaching, I send ’em to colleagues who are patient and know how to give guidance with the right touch. That’s not me. Here are the attributes of impressive career advisors in my network: 1. They are certified. Anybody can be a career coach. Some of the most unpleasant people I’ve met in my professional life were fired during the recession, couldn’t find jobs, and turned themselves into career coaches. When searching for an advisor, ask about degrees and affiliations. Also, check out The Muse. They are flexible.

The thing about being an HR blogger is that I meet a lot of people who think they’re really good at what they do for a living. Even without saying it, they walk into a room and believe that they’re rock stars or geniuses. Some of these men and women are awesome. They make me jealous. But that’s a small group. We’ve been living in a post-recessionary world where people with swagger need to make as much money as possible before the next crisis hits. And I’m a little tired of it. You know who I’m talking about. The leadership guru with all the answers.

My favorite painting in the entire world is Woman Descending the Staircase by Gerhard Richter. The woman in this painting DGAF about anything. Her shiny dress is like armor. Her face is a mask. She’s older, she’s ghostlike, and her posture tells you that she is absolutely confident about everything in life. love it. have this image up in my office. I don’t have dreams of being glamorous, but whenever I think about how I want to present myself on stage, I think of this nameless woman. like being smiley and approachable, but I want to be less girlish. It’s not. His

There’s a respected HR blogger on the market by the name of Suzanne Lucas. You may know her by the name Evil HR Lady. She’s an early influencer in our community — someone who is admired by dreamers and skeptics alike. At the beginning of June, she wrote an article that criticized companies for getting political on LinkedIn. One example of politicization? Booz Allen Hamilton changed their LinkedIn banner to show their support of Pride Month. She writes: Do you want your firm to be known for your social activism or for your business services and products? Yeah, no.

If there’s an overused marketing trope in my industry, it’s the notion of HR heroes. Have you noticed the campaigns and advertisements? Companies celebrate human resources professionals who swoop in and save the day when you need something at work. Here’s the thing about HR heroes: They’re not heroes. HR professionals don’t leap tall buildings in a single bound. They tell their workers to stop leaping because it violates the employee handbook. So what makes a hero? In the real world, heroes are active. They get involved. They become political.

I can see why people still need HR. On a regular basis, I have people writing and asking about drugs. Mostly marijuana. Questions like, “My employee smells like weed. What can I do?” ” Part of me sympathizes with business owners and managers. It hardly seems fair that you have to show up to work sober while some other dude rolls into the office high. I’d love to smoke weed all day, too, but adulthood beckons. But another part of me is like, really, how do you know what this employee smells like? There are a lot of reasons why people might smell like marijuana.

I’m obsessed with the movie Cedar Rapids. Have you seen it? Tim Lippe has no idea what he’s in for when he’s sent to Cedar Rapids, Iowa to represent his company at an annual insurance convention, where he soon finds himself under the “guidance” of three convention veterans. This movie is an exact depiction of every HR conference I’ve ever attended since 2008. Insurance brokers in Iowa get crunk. Hijinx ensue. What’s not to love? Since watching the film, I’ve been laser focused on doing a conference in Cedar Rapids. swear to god, this is true.

Photo by Heather Bussing. have attended  SHRM’s annual conference since 2008, but I’m sitting this year out. The one thing I love about the event is that I make enduring “SHRM memories.” ” I thought I’d share some of them with you. Chicago 2008. applied for a press pass and was accepted as one of the first bloggers to attend SHRM. Why does it matter that I was first? It doesn’t. At all. Except I owned the SHRM social media properties and Sue Meisinger was on leave. couldn’t find anybody interested in taking them back. For free! New Orleans 2009.

I got a call from an HR technology vendor telling me that I’m in this month’s  HR Magazine. Then he asked me to do a free webinar for him. Yeah, okay. must look new. So let’s back up. What is HR Magazine ? Well, it’s a monthly publication from SHRM , an HR association. And it’s terrible. This month’s edition is especially dreadful. There’s a cover photo of a woman from a much-admired company. She’s a VP of innovation, making her a shining example of a successful woman in the technology industry. Strategic. Technical. Approachable.

Most of you know that I’m toiling away at a side project: a software company. It’s going slowly because I’m trying to be deliberate and diligent while also having fun and not taking myself too seriously. It’s amazing and horrible at the same time. Mostly amazing. Well, ask me how I feel in a few more weeks.). Whatever happens, though, this is my path. The timeline is mine. have a clear vision of what I would like to accomplish. I’m answering to nobody. I don’t feel pressure to compromise. And I’ll probably fail. Eh, that’s okay. Things end.

My cats are all about monkey-see-monkey-do. Roxy observed how my cats liked to sit on our porch furniture. She went ahead and claimed a spot — just like the big kids. Roxy likes to poop at a particular time of day. Now Jake wants to poop at that same time. Emma uses the scratching post before she eats her noshes, and now Roxy does her nails before dinner. Molly loves treats, and so Roxy loves treats. Do those treats taste good? Who knows! It’s a constant cycle of écoute et répète in my life, and it’s delightful. promoted the hell out of the post. Thanks for influencing me.

Now that it’s summertime, I’m back at the beach. From now until Labor Day, I’ll be at the beach at least once a week. I’ll wake up at the crack of dawn, drive to the ocean, fall asleep, read, eat some snacks, and then drive home in time for dinner. We had some weather, so my weekly beach outings for Summer 2016 were delayed. finally made it out, last week, and it was magnificent. read The Vegetarian (it was good) and played Letterpress  (I’m bad at it). worked on my commencement speech. took some hardcore naps. No social media. No HR blogging. No stress. Life Wor

The only HR competency that matters is trustworthiness. Go ahead and earn your SPHR and SHRM-SCP. Add it to a distinguished list of undergraduate and graduate degrees in areas that are directly related to the world of business. That’s fabulous. But when the chips are down, will you do the right thing? If you make a mistake, will you admit it and contain it? Do you let your neediness and desire for approval get in the way of normal business operations? Are you competitive when you should be collaborative? pick trustworthy people over overly confident (and competent) people all the time.

Last November, I went to Havana with a bunch of HR professionals. We had an excursion to the National Museum of Fine Arts , which houses an impressive collection of Cuban art. Lots of good stuff in there. If you’re in Havana, check it out. wasn’t there long enough to truly appreciate the accumulation of Cuba’s greatest artworks , but I enjoyed the tour. Some of my colleagues were impressed with what they saw and wanted to buy artwork to bring home. Unfortunately, there are strict export laws from Cuba. Americans can’t just purchase a painting and leave the island.

A few weeks ago, I tried to connect with a woman on LinkedIn. Nothing good comes from being online, but I’m trying to meet new people. She is an accomplished leader who works for a successful venture capital firm. We have many friends in common, and her name has popped up in recent conversations. LinkedIn seems to know this, too, because it suggested that we connect. So I did what the internet told me to do: I clicked a button and went back to my normal life. hoped she would say yes. She suggested that we use email to chat. Then she denied my request to connect. Uhm, okay. Life Work

Working from home can be a lonely and isolating experience if you let it. Here are some ways to ensure you don’t go crazy. 1. Have some animals in your house. It’s easy to sit on your butt for 10 hours, but cats and dogs will bother you for food and attention. Animals force you to get up and away from the computer about 100 times an hour. 2. Talk to somebody new each day. There are periods of time when I only talk to my husband and my cats, which is unhealthy. I can feel my brain grow mushy. Keep the TV off. Eat lunch outside of your home when you can. Suckers! Get off the internet.

I’m giving a commencement speech at my alma mater in London on July 14th. I don’t think my husband can make it, but Jennifer McClure  will join me. And I have enough friends in London that one of them will surely record the speech. promise to share the video once it’s live. I can’t wait to watch myself say awkward things to a bunch of graduates who are bummed that my college couldn’t score a bigger internet blogger. Welcome to adulthood.). have no idea how to give a commencement speech, but there are plenty of inspirational speeches on Facebook. Wish me luck!

I spent the first twelve years of my career working in recruiting and HR departments. Then I spent nine years writing and speaking about HR, recruiting and technology. Working in HR makes you skeptical, and the first part of my career made a formative impact on my worldview. Whenever I hear a story about anything — from cats to conspiracy theories — I’m a cynic and contrarian. I’ve been trained to question everything, which feeds into my natural tendency to be a “pretend police officer.” ” Here’s the unfortunate thing: I was mostly right.

Every June, I run a half-marathon in Raleigh. It’s very hilly and hot, but it’s the last race around here until autumn. Last year’s race was when I totally blew out my hip and groin for what I hope will be the final time. spent months resting and doing physical therapy, which is a code for eating a lot of carbs and moving like a senior citizen. Mmmmm. Carbs. Now I’m back to rebuilding my running routine. signed up for my June half-marathon, which was this past Saturday. My running pace is somewhere around 10:44 when it’s crisp outside and the terrain is flat.

I’ve spent the past nine years of my life working on my public speakings skills. Professional speakers do a lot of things right, none of which I knew at the beginning of my journey. once spoke at SHRM , and I totally blew it. knew it from the moment I opened my mouth. And when my feedback came back, it was confirmed. Someone wrote, “Laurie Ruettimann thinks highly of herself. We know this because she spent ten minutes telling us.” ” You don’t forget feedback like that. Here are the characteristics of good speakers. 1. They don’t talk too much. No way. Awkard?

There are two types of American HR departments. The first is a younger, recruiting-focused department that uses technology to build a case for change. Does that sound like jargon? Yes, yes it is. These talent-minded pros use jargon to talk about what they do.) They don’t care about reporting to the CHRO or VP of HR because they want to be tied to business metrics and results. You’ll find this department on the coasts and maybe in the more densely populated cities in the Midwest. The second HR department skews older and focuses on policies/processes to enable the business. Gross.

Hi, everybody. I’m back from a multi-city tour that took me all over America. I had fun at my last stop — an event hosted by a recruiting company called Greenhouse. You might wonder, “What is a recruiting company?” ” Well, hang with me. When you apply for a job online, there are several distinct categories of software that make the whole thing possible. Then, when you finally get an interview, another set of tools works to make an interview happen. All of that software could be one company, or it could be many companies integrated through one platform.

Lots of HR professionals want to know how to deliver value and build trust in organizations. Like there’s a ten-step plan for being a better human being, too. Whatever.). People are always looking to experts when the answers reside within themselves. Drives me crazy. In as much as a blog post or a conference can inspire you to live better, well, that’s great. But let’s not pretend that there’s a shortcut to delivering value and building trust. You have to answer questions that are rarely asked. 1. How do you define value? 2. Is it the same way I define value? 3.

Visiting Chicago is a challenge for me. I was born and raised in the area until I was seventeen. Then I moved back in my twenties for a few years. know so many fun people in my life and have good memories in that city. On the other hand, I have a lot of misplaced anxiety that serves no purpose and makes me weird. If you’re a basic b h, you take all that negative energy and make poor choices. If you’re me, you’re still a mess; however, you try to create new memories to replace the old ones. And it was an excellent cultural experience, although it was initially stressful.

I’m just back from Philadelphia, a scrappy Midwestern city on the east coast of America. Philadelphia is known for art, and more specifically, sculptures. So I took a walk and tried to take in as many sculptures as possible in a few hours. It was raining and very dreary, which was a challenge, but I was determined to see some art. One of the weirdest sculptures I saw was Government of the People by Jacques Lipchitz. It was created in 1976, and you can tell that it’s a product of the 1970s at first glance. Turns out, I just don’t like anything about it.

Want to know how to close the wage gap in pay? Here are three ways. Close it. It’s nice when people talk about the complexities and nuances of the labor market and then fold in a discussion on intrinsic motivation and capitalism. Those people are avoiding an honest conversation about accountability. If you want to close the gender gap, you close it. You get serious about titles and compensation. Reward discretionary efforts. Incentive programs should enhance your transparent compensation system, not deter from it. well-designed plan doesn’t have to be rooted in Stalinist principles.

There’s a conspiracy theory out there that the  CIA has been involved in drug trafficking  since the 1960s. Starting with America’s involvement in Southeast Asia (remember that old war?) through our current conflict in Afghanistan, people on the internet believe that the CIA moved drugs across the globe to impact political outcomes while simultaneously working to distribute  crack cocaine in African American neighborhoods in Southern California  and providing big pharmaceutical companies cover to  hook middle-class Americans on painkillers. So that’s a lot, right? Well, TBD.).

I live in North Carolina. It’s a beautiful part of the country with mountains, beaches, and rolling meadows of wildflowers in between. My city, Raleigh, is one of the fastest growing towns (and t ech towns ) in America. We are a hub of innovation, and unlike every other city that makes the same claims, it’s true. We are surrounded by major universities , and the Research Triangle is an excellent place to invest if you’re looking for highly skilled workers and a reasonable cost of doing business. The new law in North Carolina is ridiculous. It’s hot garbage. George A.

I’m the queen of helping vendors put on better conferences, but nobody asks me to touch the obligatory CHRO panel. That’s too bad. CHRO panel looks the same at nearly every event. The interviewer always asks Chief HR Officers about policy and culture with an eye towards a “holistic bigger picture” that is never fully described nor understood by the audience. And the answers are always self-important and vague. “You could be a CHRO, too. First, you have to be strategic and have a relationship with the CEO.” ” Yeah, okay, I’m out. Ask about grit.

A few years ago, I wrote about a woman at my gym who was working out in pantyhose. What kind of workout gear is that? You have to be entangled in a weird web of shame to put yourself through that nonsense. Lots of people gave me feedback and said, hey, it’s none of your business what that lady wears to work out. Maybe just focus on your s**t, which is equally as web-like and shameful. And sure enough, I do have issues. My boxing gym has banned me from wearing HR technology t-shirts to the gym. My trainer is firm on the subject. “Laurie, we need to talk. What the heck is QueSocial?”

I have great clients who know that I’m a nerd. went to visit one of them in March, and they structured our meetings so I could leave in the afternoon and see an exhibit called Van Gogh’s Bedrooms. It’s an art show based on three paintings of the same bedroom, created by Van Gogh at different times in his life. Whoop dee doo, right? Well, the paintings are lovely. Full stop. Van Gogh is no slouch. The Art Institute of Chicago created an experiential show where you could take pictures, which is unique for an art museum. Other museums are so stuffy. Travel is taxing. Yes, I do.).

Hello, everybody. I’m back from a few days in Florida. I was at a conference called WorkHuman , which is all about work-life balance and purpose. My husband is like, “Whoa, did you get some sun?”. I’m like, “Uh, what? No. I was inside the whole time doing important things for my client.”. Meanwhile, poolside, I “worked human” and read two books: Presence and All Stories are Love Stories. That moment when you realize your dress is the color of your hotel wall. workhuman. photo posted by Laurie Ruettimann (@lruettimann) on May 9, 2016 at 7:23pm PDT. It was pretty intense at times. And Michael J.

Hey, everybody. I’ll be at WorkHuman , next week. (It’s a conference about work-life balance. Want to go? know a woman. She has a sweet deal. Just let me know and we’ll find a way to get you there that won’t kill your travel budget.). I’m excited about WorkHuman , but I also know that I will need a few minutes away from the conference itself. No offense to my fellow nerds in HR, but I have to “work human” in order to attend WorkHuman. It means that, at some point, I will wander away and not talk to anybody for several hours. Looks like a nice museum.

Last year, Mister Jake was having trouble breathing. took him to the vet. He has asthma, probably some nasal polyps, and maybe some growths in his chest. Also, Jake has massively high blood pressure. I got this news while things weren’t going well with Scrubby , and I’m like — what should we do? I’m totally ill-equipped to make any decisions except drink heavily. Vet was like — He’s fifteen. wouldn’t do invasive tests. Treat him for his symptoms, keep an eye on him, and you’ll know when it’s time. Maybe six months. Maybe a year. Jake is alive!

I won the lottery and will be running in the Chicago Marathon. My friend, Tim Sackett , nearly had an aneurysm when I told him the news. He’s like — Get ready for non-stop updates on what you’re eating, how much you’re drinking, how hard running is, how much you hate it, how much you love it, your shoes, your gear, and all the other crap that goes along with doing another marathon. Sounds great, right?). Unfortunately, running never gets easier. That’s why I’m training for the race in Chicago right now. Goodbye, Cape Town. Hello, American Tobacco Trail.). Maybe.

This past year, I began working with a start-up company on a big idea that required more and more of my attention. As the work ratcheted up, I was swamped with stuff to do. My other consulting services needed to be dialed down. Unfortunately, the start-up company hit a snag. I am now looking for more freelance work to fill the open spots on my calendar. I can do all of this because I’m a woman who has built a successful business and has a little money in the bank. have no kids and a husband with a regular job who provides our health insurance. I’m built for the gig economy.

I took the day off, yesterday. My brain is mushy from writing white papers on HR, and I needed a break from the internet. So I went to the North Carolina Museum of Art. It’s not too far from my house. There’s a beautiful running path that crisscrosses through the campus. The greenway is full of sculptures and interactive art. I don’t know where you live, but springtime in Raleigh is warm and humid. cooled down after my run by touring the NCMA’s permanent collection, which includes everything from Baroque paintings to abstract canvases to a Rodin sculpture garden.

Do you guys know the Gaping Void cartoon? It’s sort of like The Oatmeal and Savage Chickens except that it was early to the internet. The humor is reminiscent of Catbert and xkcd. Basically, Gaping Void is royalty. And because the Obama economy is great, the founder started a consulting firm. know, right? America is awesome. So I was totally thrilled when I got an email from the Gaping Void team, earlier this week. opened it up, and this is what it said: “Let’s talk.” ” Wow, yeah, that’s random. Maybe try a little harder? responded very clearly. “Wow.

Today marks one year since my beloved cat, Scrubs, passed away. He was Scrubby, Mister Scrubby, Big Beef & Cheese, Mister Doop-Dee-Doos, and the Mayor of Chunk City, USA. (My seven-month-old nephew is the new mayor, by the way.). wouldn’t say it’s been the worst year of my life, but I’m in no hurry to feel this way anytime soon. I’ve been pretty good about holding it together. I’m not insane. know he was a cat. In fact, I was calm during the euthanasia. We donated his body for a necropsy, and I insisted on picking up his ashes from the crematorium. Cats Life

I am a writer, and I have the opportunity to earn money and work on my craft at the same time. speak to support my ideas. Speaking also helps me to learn more about my audience. When I’m not writing and speaking, I sometimes earn money by sharing my expertise with marketing and HR departments. I’m very lucky to have this job. I run a compact business model supported by two primary means of business development: referrals and social media. Clients hear about me through multiple channels and hire me because I’m known for solving problems in an effective way. Teaching is great.

You can’t be a human resources consultant without a model. For years, I’ve tried to help recruiters and HR practitioners understand technology by referring them to other smart people. send my friends and colleagues to other consultants who break down complex ideas into clear messages. But I now have my model for HR technology, and it’s pretty simple. It’s called the Four Quadrants of HR Technology™. Why did I do it? So what do my four quadrants of HR technology look like? Time management is all about the automation agenda. Otherwise, it’s not worth it. Very close.

I was at an HR technology conference when I learned that Prince died. Then I watched grown-ass people in khaki pants and sensible lose their minds when they heard the news. There are two reasons why people freaked out. 1. Adulthood is full of complicated choices and disappointing compromises. It’s okay because that’s the circle of life. But while you and I are being passive-aggressive to one another and fighting over 3.6% merit increases, Prince was creating extraordinary music and hosting all-night dance parties at his house. His art had integrity, but it was incredibly accessible.

About a week ago, I saw Botticelli Reimagined in London. The exhibition reflected on Botticelli’s perfect vision of girls and womanhood, as represented in The Birth of Venus and La Primavera , and tried to show his influence on art from the 15th century through the modern era. Let’s start with the basics of Botticelli’s Venus. She is white, classicly beautiful, docile, tall, angelic, innocent, physically able, and aligned with a gentle vision of nature. Back in the day, she represented the pinnacle of femininity. love and appreciate Andy Warhol’s take on Botticelli.

Here’s you how you know you failed. If you stopped trying. If you never tried. If you didn’t learn anything. If you gave up too soon because it was hard. If you quit because you were frustrated. If you valued short-term fun over long-term results. If you expected something worthwhile would be easy. If you fought over nothing. If you got angry because of small things. If you couldn’t say no. If you never said yes. If you weren’t kind. If you were selfish. If you thought you were being funny but other people thought you were cruel. If you never trusted. Like a dope.

There is a universal force that unites all successful and happy business professionals: a love of animals. Some people like dogs, others like cats, but everybody likes animals except for a few cranky people in the office. In fact, I can go through my career and identify a half-dozen miserable people. They had bouts of depression, mania, and paranoia. They had delusions of grandeur and anxiety. None of them had animals. Not one. worked with a woman who was all about her family. knew she was all about her family because all she did was tell me, hey, my family comes first. You know the type.

It’s springtime. My husband did a ton of yardwork and trimmed back our azalea bushes. washed kitchen cabinets and removed dust jackets from my hardcover books, but I need to paint one of our guest bedrooms. We have a million other projects to complete around here, but while I have a few minutes, let me tell you about my social media spring cleaning campaign. LinkedIn. First up, you need a new LinkedIn photo. So do I, actually. I’ll work with my friends Kathy Howard and Joanne Maye to lock down a new image. You don’t need much. You are beautiful. Be a minimalist. Facebook.

If you are using HR software of any kind —  and that includes platforms to process payroll or create weekly schedules at your restaurant — you’re beating the odds. Most technology never makes it beyond a shaky prototype. There are Universal Forces of Failure™ that doom most technology companies. If it becomes a viable product, that’s because some crazy dude mortgaged his home and bet on a dream. And he got lucky. Once you get a product to market, it doesn’t mean that it stays viable. Time passes, trends change, and code gets old pretty fast. They represent a miracle. Heck no.

There’s a new movement you need to know about: joy at work. That’s right. The latest trend is to nag you into finding some joy in your job. Not happiness. Not passion. And if you find joy, at least a little, things are going to be okay. I don’t hate the idea of finding joy at work even though some Silicon Valley brogrammer thinks he invented it. You can’t walk around all moody and depressed because, frankly, that’s my job. I own the market on being cynical and jaded. It is about the little things that hopefully add up and make your day tolerable. Savor them.

I’m routinely approached by writers who are interested in starting a self-help blog or writing a self-help book. have toyed with the idea of writing a career advice book many times, too. keep abandoning the project based on what I know, which is why I’d like to share my insights on self-help with you. The first principle of offering advice is simple: nobody cares about your story. Readers only care about how your story makes them feel about themselves. That formula (M+L=AF) is a myth. The real formula is much more complicated. There’s no shame in f **g up. That’s it.

Do you feel like nobody listens to you at work? Sometimes they don’t. Important conversations never happen. Great ideas are disregarded. People are overlooked and ignored. If you’re talking but nobody is listening, here are some things you can do. Stop talking. It’s okay to go quiet when you’re not being heard. Ask someone to speak for you. Enlist an advocate or an ambassador. I’s a solid strategy when you’re trying to make an important point. Say it a different way. Evaluate your delivery. Maybe you need a voice coach. Write it out. Talk to a new audience.

I am guilty of self-handicapping. I don’t want to try too hard or raise expectations too much. want people to think I’m smart and accomplished. If I fail, I will look dumb. Knowing this about myself, I am always on the lookout to try new things. want to push myself in new directions. If I fail, and I almost always fail, I try not to feel too ashamed. want to learn something from the overall experience. To some people, I look brave. To others, I seem like a dilettante. Self-handicapping makes you lame. Do I want to open an art gallery? Do I want to take golf lessons? Is this true?

One of the biggest trends in HR right now is radical candor. Have you heard this phrase? According to Kim Scott , radical candor is the moral obligation of managers to care for each team member personally and challenge ’em to grow. Managers must provide feedback that is humble, helpful, immediate, and in person. If you’re offering criticism, do it privately. If it’s praise, speak publicly. And if you can’t do any of it because you don’t have time, Scott advises you to be an a **e. Now, hey, don’t go out of your way to be an a **e. Please.

Hey, everybody. I’m just back from Istanbul. It was my second trip. There is no terror in Turkey more terrifying than two American women walking the streets alone and having fun. arrived on Saturday afternoon. Jennifer was delayed. spent the afternoon and evening wandering around — mostly being a tourist and eating. took a lot of photos of cats. I don’t know. I was tired. Sunday was a good day. walked around the outdoor markets near Mısır Çarşısı and stayed awake by taking a Bosporus river cruise. There’s an open-air boat that takes you around for $4 — no stops.

Hi, everybody. I’m back from my crazy trip to Istanbul via London. I had a great time, but I’m exhausted. went with my friend, Jennifer McClure. We have so many crazy stories that I’ll share next week. But right now I wanted to tell you that Jennifer is reading Thrive by Arianna Huffington. Have you read it? haven’t, but it looks good. know this because the book was on her bedside table as I was rummaging through her stuff, and I read the jacket. So Jennifer’s nighttime reading reminded me to tell you about WorkHuman 2016. haven’t read it, yet.

I told you about DisruptHR in Chicago on Monday. Whoa, guess what? I’m emceeing DisruptHR Philadelphia. Where my Philly people at? You want to hang out and talk about HR? Okay, fine, but you should still come to DisruptHR Philadelphia because it looks great. Plus, whatever, just come. The event is May 17, and I look forward to seeing everybody there! The post DisruptHR Philadelphia #disruptHRphilly appeared first on Laurie Ruettimann.

You guys, I’m doing a unique HR event in Los Angeles on May 23 hosted by a company called bigStory. I’m attending a story-driven HR event for executives who want to talk about optimizing performance. What?! Join us in May on a stage overlooking all of Los Angeles, where we will explore the role of HR in the evolving organization. Your experience will begin with an introduction to bigSTORY , through a story about the future of HR that you’ll build with other attendees by playing a game. Then, theater! Immersive theater! Be my guest?! Send me an email if you’re interested.