It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. I’m being trained by a stressed and grumpy coworker. have been at my current company for over five years. recently moved to a new group within my department. In my new group of four, we all have different tasks and responsibilities. One of my group members (let’s call her Sally), has been with the company for a couple years, and moved to the same group as me this year. Sally has relayed several times that her previous boss and she did not have a good working relationship and she was excited to have our new boss. Our workloads did not overlap.

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. This one is truly no work and no school. If you have a work question, you can email it to me or post it in the work-related open thread on Fridays.). Book recommendation of the week:  The Wonder , by Emma Donoghue. An 11-year-old girl in a small Irish village claims to have survived without eating for months, and this is the story of the nurse charged with figuring out whether it’s a hoax or not. I didn’t think I’d like this, but I loved it. open threads

Here are updates from four people who had their letters answered here earlier this year. 1. My work studio is being used as a nursing mothers’ room. It took awhile to get things rolling, but this story does have a happy ending! spoke with the two women who were pumping shortly after the letter was published – and thank you everyone who helped reassure me that my concerns were reasonable and worth addressing. I had been very nervous about stepping on toes or offending anyone. Unfortunately, one of the women was very unhappy with me and pretty much refused to work on this in any way.

A reader writes: My coworker is annoying everyone by using baby talk all the time, but the context makes it difficult to bring up — she only does it when talking to our office-mates, and only when discussing friendly, non-work things. She would never use the voice with our boss, or a client, so I don’t feel like I can tell her that she is undermining her credibility as a professional. It’s still unbelievably grating, however, and I know most of the office hates it. But the rest of us have to listen to it all day. How do I handle this? You can read it here.

The letter-writer whose horse died after her manager neglected to pass along an emergency phone message to her sent in an update late last night. Here it is: Thank you to everyone who has offered condolences, and my condolences to those who have shared stories of their own loses. My mare died on the 7th of September and I took several days off after her death. The necropsy report revealed that she had a tumour which wrapped around part of the intestine and strangled it. I had her cremated and her ashes have been scattered on several of our old trails. updates

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on anything work-related that you want to talk about. If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to talk to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please don’t repost it here, as it may be in the to-be-answered queue :). open threads

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. Did I get too drunk at a work party? recently attended a work party. There was a lot of drinking and a lot of dancing. I don’t usually do much of either, but I ended up drinking three and a half glasses of wine (my usual limit is two) and being louder and more outgoing than usual. also ended up dancing (something normally outside my comfort zone) and at one point grabbed the hand of someone I was sitting with and held it for a moment. ” In retrospect, this must have looked bizarre.). Should I bring this up with someone? ” 3.

At the end of each year, I publish a slew of “where are they now” updates from people whose questions I answered here in the past. So… If you’ve had your question answered here in the past, please email me an update and let us know how your situation turned out. Did you take the advice? Did you not take the advice? What happened? Leave no juicy detail out! I’ll post updates as they come in. Don’t post them here though; email them to me.). And if there’s anyone you especially want to hear an update from, mention it here and I’ll reach out to those people directly. where are you now?

A reader writes: I recently had a bizarre interview experience and was hoping you may be able to provide some clarity to the situation. applied for a job that’s the same title as the one I currently hold, but at another company that’s similar in many ways to one I’m currently working at. I had a phone interview with the person who would be my boss at the new company that went very well. We later set up a meeting to have an in-person interview. ” I told him what my current salary was and explained I’d be interested in a 15% increase at a new role. ”). salary

Sometimes it’s easy to assess and give feedback on an employee’s performance: a person is clearly doing well, or is clearly struggling. But what if you’re managing someone who’s great at their work some of the time but strikingly weak at other times? Or someone who’s easy to work with some days but irritable and recalcitrant on others? At QuickBase’s Fast Track blog today, I talk about how to manage an employee who seems like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (hey, it’s Halloween week). You can read it here. being the boss outside

A reader writes: My friend and I shared a paddock in which we kept our horses. She did the morning feeds and I did the afternoon feeds. One morning, when my friend was feeding up, she discovered that my 29-year-old mare was colicing (basically a stomach upset; horses can’t throw up so if there is a blockage or something making them sick, it causes a lot of problems) and because it looked serious she called the vet. The vet refused to do more than administer painkillers and a few other drugs to make her comfortable without an owner present, so my friend tried to call me. Except that he didn’t.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. We got rid of our IT person and it’s been a disaster. About six months ago, my company of 75+ advertising people got rid of our in-house IT person. He was admittedly overworked and stressed, but was at least available in the office every day to help with everything from broken printers to missing passwords. He was vital. Someone, somewhere, very high up in our company’s owner company (higher than our CEO, it seems) decided we didn’t need him. Or anyone. have whined about this out loud. have lost emails and files. Here you go!”.

A reader writes: So I am a year and a half out of college. work as a Teapot Package Designer (obviously not my real field). I’ve been in my job since May of this year and I’m definitely happy to be here. like the work, my team is great, and I’ve learned so much. I got my position through a family friend, who heads Teapot Packaging at my workplace. I had worked as a Teapot Packaging Researcher before, and I had some general teapot packaging skills. She really fast-tracked me into the organization. have definitely made mistakes but overall I think I’m doing well. Oh gosh.

A reader writes: I have had a wonderful front desk receptionist/medical biller for six years. She always goes out of her way and is extremely dedicated. Well, yesterday she came in with a nose ring. I don’t know how to handle it without hurting her feelings. She’s had a tough life. Please let me know how to get rid of the nose ring. answer this question — and four others — over at Inc. today, where I’m revisiting letters that have been buried in the archives here from years ago (and sometimes updating/expanding my answers to them). You can read it here. outside workplace practices

A reader writes: My supervisor is obsessed with food! It started when I first went on a diet. would have my lunch box packed with all of my essentials for the day. thought it was just her being friendly when she asked to taste certain foods when I sat down at my desk to eat. But then I noticed her asking for food pretty regularly — even food that’s not “shareable” like fish tacos, salad, or chicken wraps. This got to be expensive. tried coming up with a system. would offer her healthy snacks only or one meal (breakfast or lunch). There have been other changes too. Talk to her.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. My coworkers think I left a bad Glassdoor review, but I didn’t. work at gossipy, small, family-owned, white collar business. We have about 40 employees, many of whom have been here for decades. have been with the company for about a year and a half in an entry-level position (this is my first job out of college). recently put in my two weeks’ notice as I got a job elsewhere with a higher title and salary. A few days after I put in my notice, a negative Glassdoor review appeared online for my current company. Just my paranoia.)

A reader writes: I am a director of a local nonprofit. We’re not nationwide, but we have a very visible presence in our area. Two years ago, my associate director, we’ll call her Pam, decided to stay home with her new baby, so we had a position to fill. Pam had been in that role for nearly eight years and was like my right hand; I knew we’d get someone in there, but I had doubts anyone could truly fill her shoes. The replacement, who we’ll call Gina, has proven to be exceptional in her role. Eager, great sense of humor, very intelligent, poised, I could go on. being the boss

A reader writes: I have a friend, “Meg,” and we both work at the same company but in different departments. Meg is one of my closest friends, and we hang out all the time. She’s a lot of fun to be around, and she’s also been there for me through some difficult times. She’s an awesome friend but kind of a difficult coworker. As our work has evolved, we’ve had the occasion to collaborate more, and I’m starting to realize that she’s mistake-prone and often causes issues with my clients by being rude or inflexible with them.

A reader writes: I’m writing today on behalf of my younger cousin Lauren, a high school sophomore who works as a cashier at a grocery store. To begin: is it inherently inappropriate to mention your period to your manager/ supervisor? Of course, I don’t mean yelling, “It’s a crime scene in my pants!” ” without prompting. While she was working, Lauren began to sense Aunt Flo was making an unexpected visit. She had taken her break about a half hour earlier, but did not know she’d have to set up accommodations for Flo. Writing her up is silly.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. I’m not allowed to buy my own office chair. I’ve work for a small nonprofit organization for almost 10 years. Having big issues with my back pain and several scary looking diagnoses, I asked our manager if I can buy an ergonomic chair with high adjustability and pay for it myself. The answer was “no, I am not sure we are insured for this.” What are my rights and options in this regard? really need a chair better suitable for my medical needs. It is not just a question of preference, it is a necessity. Your manager is being ridiculous.

Remember the letter-writer in June who had a terrible summer intern who she couldn’t fire ? Here’s the update. First of all, thank you so much for your advice. honestly had no idea how to handle the situation because it was the first time I have ever dealt with anything like that, and I was hoping to get your advice before I approached my boss. She was on vacation when you responded to my letter, and I didn’t want to reach out to our VIP without talking to her first. She was able to work on her teaching skills, and he was able to learn about many different subjects. updates

One month from tomorrow, on December 1, a major change to U.S. overtime laws will go into effect – and might result in changes in your paycheck and your work schedule. At U.S. News & World Report today, I talk about the new rule and answer a bunch of questions about it, including: What exactly is changing? If you don’t meet the new salary threshold, can you remain salaried or will you have to switch to hourly? If you currently get comp time when you work overtime, will that remain an option? Are there exceptions in the law for small employers or nonprofit organizations? law + order salary

A reader writes: I’m the manager of a teapot sales tracking program at my company and I have three system administrators reporting to me: Alvin, Simone, and Theodora. Simone was pregnant and planned her four-month maternity leave starting in May. Ernest (who I do not manage but who uses the software my team administers) came to me in March asking if he could cover for Simone during her leave as an opportunity for professional growth. My plan was to cover Simone’s work myself with the help of an outside certified contractor when needed. My boss told him that there was no budget.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. My coworker is faking his expertise for the promotion he’s applying for. Our director of IT gave notice this week. Two internal people have expressed interest in the job. We are a small company, and the director of IT is the only IT professional on staff. We are a financial institution, so IT security is super important. John and Mary both expressed interest in the job. John is well liked and already in a comparable level job. John and Mary both have degrees in IT. Mary has used hers in the workforce prior to working here. Is this legal?

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. This one is truly no work and no school. If you have a work question, you can email it to me or post it in the work-related open thread on Fridays.). Book recommendation of the week:  The Wangs vs. the World , by Jade Chang. wealthy family find themselves broke and embark on a cross-country car trip that is far more interesting and poignant than you think it will be. open threads

Here are updates from four people who had their letters answered here earlier this year. 1. Employee wants her husband to hang out in our office for hours every day. Speaking privately to the employee in question, I basically explained that while I sympathized with her and her husband’s situation, her workplace was not going to be the appropriate venue for her husband to conduct his job search on an ongoing basis. I did offer to allow him to spend a couple of days (as a gesture of support), initially, in the office to get his resume up and running, possibly apply to a few postions, etc.,

Here’s a great letter from a reader: I wanted to share a happy ending to an unusual salary negotiation, because I think it shows how you can apply good principles even in a situation that’s an exception to the rule. Back in June, I was offered a job doing exactly the kind of work I wanted in the location I wanted. The starting pay was about 15% lower than my stated minimum, but I was told that it would move up to at least that minimum after my 90-day review. Fast forward two months, and as expected, my role had unquestionably turned into Teapot Manager. salary

It’s the Friday open thread — and DAY EIGHT of my complete laryngitis! I am rather demoralized. Despite that, the comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on anything work-related that you want to talk about. If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to talk to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please don’t repost it here, as it may be in the to-be-answered queue :). open threads

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. Can I be friends with candidates who I reject for jobs? I am a hiring manager and I meet A LOT of candidates that I do grow to like. have had some applicants ask if we can be friends after I send them a rejection email. I’m new to the area and only have work friends, so I really do want to be their friend! Can I? How often is this happening? If on occasion you really click with someone and a friendship develops organically, I don’t think anyone would criticize you for that. Telling an employee to talk more normally to foreign colleagues.

A reader writes: Over the past year, I have developed a casual friendship with a coworker. Think: occasional happy hours, venting to each other about rough days, etc. She’s about a decade older than me and has very different personal interests so we’re not really friends outside of work. The problem began two months ago when she told me she was having minor surgery and didn’t have anyone to pick her up from the hospital. volunteered to do this for her, and to let her recover in my guest room for one night after the procedure. She was suddenly incredibly needy. AWKWARD.

Over at the Fast Track by QuickBase today, I take a look at several big work-related stories in the news right now: the problems with group brainstorming, the hundreds of millions of vacation days we leave unused each year, and more. You can read it here. You may also like: my coworker booked all the best vacation days for the year and no one else can have them update: our time off is being rescinded — Hunger Games style is it wrong to take a sick day when you’re not really sick? work habits

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. How do you interact with someone who took credit for your work? I’m a member of my college’s Teapot Club. Recently, I started volunteering to help out the club’s graphic designer. We initially agreed that I would make social-media graphics and such, but last weekend she asked me to make the main print poster for an upcoming meeting, (even though that was meant to be her job). made the poster, sent it to her, and yesterday I got to class and saw it posted all over the teapot department’s building. What do I say?

A reader writes: When being asked by a hiring manager “why are you looking to leave your job,” one of the common advised response is “I’m looking to take on a new challenge.” ” Do you think that answering with “I’m looking to take on a new challenge” can be interpreted as admitting that the candidate (me) is not qualified or lacks the experience? I’ve always struggled with responding with this answer. Here’s the deal with “I’m looking for new challenges”: Most interviewers understand that it’s used as a polite catch-all for all sorts of things.

A reader writes: I have an employee who is now at least 40 minutes late for work on his first day. He at least called to let us know he overslept and is on the way, but likely won’t be here for another 20-30 minutes. He seemed mortified and was very apologetic, assuring us that it will not happen again. He said he was so excited to start his job that he couldn’t sleep and had to take a sleeping aid to help him sleep. Apparently it worked too well! In all my years of managing people, I’ve honestly never had this happen before. Any suggestions on how to address this with him?

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. share an office with a hoarder. share an office with a guy who has a hoarding problem, and the company president has asked me to somehow persuade my colleague to clean up. have no authority over my colleague — we have the same position and he has seniority. My understanding is that hoarding is a serious and difficult-to-treat psychological problem, and I have no idea where to go with this. Hoarding is indeed a serious and difficult-to-treat psychological problem, which perhaps your president doesn’t understand. That’s icky, right?

Here are four updates from people who recently had their letters answered here. 1. think our employee lied about having cancer. We continued to have problems with the employee in question. She would stonewall me (ignoring me completely, including when asked about work tasts) but was continuing to tell other employees she had cancer. started going back through records and schedules and found that she had called out 18 times in 4 months (in addition to additional time off requests that were granted!). Part of the plan was not calling out. She said “well, I have a working interview.”

A reader writes: What constitutes job hopping? And And is job hopping even a bad thing anymore? My husband and I (both 40 years old with professional careers) seem to be straddling the expectations of Generation X and Millennials. When we left college, the expectation was that while you may not spend your entire career with one company, you certainly should expect to spend a good number of years in one place before jumping ship. Of course, the dot com bubble and tech explosion a few years later changed so many previously accepted mores. So what say you? Head over there to read it.

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go…. 1. My company is planning an overnight trip with secret activities. My company (a young tech start-up) is planning an overnight company trip. They’ve been keeping the details secret, which has caused a lot of anxiety, especially since teasers implied that we would be going camping. have a health condition where hours of team sports will be miserable and potentially make me feel really unwell. Do you have any advice for how to approach this? Don’t work for a young tech start-up. Yes, talk to your boss. And happy birthday! 3. Am I off base?

I’m still sick so I’m pulling this post from 2012 out of the archives so I can continue resting. reader writes: I had a second interview with a company last week and it went horribly, in my estimation. There were a bunch of technical questions, and I did my best to answer them to the best of my abilities, but for the most part, I did not know the answers and I told them so. The interview was to last about an hour and it lasted about 20 minutes, so I figured it wasn’t a good fit and that was that. Fast forward to today. Any advice would be helpful. interviewing

If you’ve prepared for a job interview recently, you probably know the basics – bring extra copies of your resume, don’t badmouth your previous employers, arrive on time, blah blah blah. But there’s a lot more that goes into the kind of impression you make, and an awful lot of candidates do things that really turn off interviewers, probably without having any idea it’s happening. At U.S. News & World Report today, I talk about ways that you might be turning off your job interviewer without even realizing it. You can read it here. interviewing

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go…. 1. Our boss is hanging terrible artwork in our new office space. I am the office manager of a small, tight-knit consulting firm of 15 employees. We recently relocated our offices to a larger, more modern location. The new space is very nice and I, along with two other admin staff (all ladies), have been tasked with hanging artwork in the new space. Boss (the owner and president) has brought in some paintings his sister painted. Some of these pieces are large and disproportionate, and none of them relate to the very specific work we do.

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. This one is truly no work and no school. If you have a work question, you can email it to me or post it in the work-related open thread on Fridays.). You may also like: all my 2015 book recommendations update: my coworkers mercilessly tease me about my drunken holiday party behavior the best “ask the readers” posts in 2014 weekend free-for-all – October 22-23, 2016 was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager. open threads

Remember the letter-writer back in March who felt aimless and unsure about how to figure out a career path ? Here’s the update. know it’s been a while since my post was published, but I thought I’d give everyone an update about my life. First, thank you so much for your advice and for the advice of everyone who commented. It feels a little silly to me now, but I didn’t know that this angst was a common thing for so many people! have spent the last six months mostly trying to chill out. No surprise here, they did! and I decided that…I really like it.

A reader writes: My boss and I have a standing weekly check-in where she is supposed to call my cell phone (she works remotely). Occasionally, she will just not call in to the meeting. At first I would ask to reschedule, but after this happening several times I eventually accepted that she just will sometimes not make it for that meeting. She didn’t call in this past week but the next day emailed me saying I needed to be better about keeping our check-in. apologized and asked if maybe the time scheduled on our calendars just wasn’t a good/convenient time for her. Am I being crazy?

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on anything work-related that you want to talk about. If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to talk to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please don’t repost it here, as it may be in the to-be-answered queue :). You may also like: most popular posts of 2015 most popular posts of 2014 my favorite posts of 2014 open thread – October 21-22, 2016 was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

This is timely, because I’m currently laid up with a fever and terrible sore throat… A reader writes: I work for a company with an accrued PTO policy that is used for all vacation time and sick leave. However, we have the option to work from home if we need to, and the manager of my group is pretty flexible and understanding. However, over the past few weeks, several of my coworkers have come into the office while obviously sick. They spray Lysol and take medicine at their desks instead of taking a day off or working from home. Your better bet might be to talk to your coworkers.

Over at the Fast Track by QuickBase today, I take a look at several big work-related stories in the news right now: some surprising benefits of procrastinating (at last!), misconceptions misconceptions about remote work, and more. You can read it here. You may also like: walking in on a coworker who’s clearly procrastinating how can I back out of a mentoring relationship? my boss is dragging her feet on hiring my replacement some surprising benefits of procrastinating (at last!) was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager. outside work habits

A reader writes: My department’s administrative assistant (we’ll call her Olga) is incredibly impatient, and expects me to quickly complete things that I don’t have any control over. For example, I work often with her on finalizing the contracts for freelancers that we work with. She will create the contract, and I will email it to the freelancer, as I’m their main contact for the organization. While I understand that freelancers have other clients and may take a few days to get back to us, Olga doesn’t. What should I do? Or are you peers?” Age doesn’t matter here.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. My abusive ex works at the company where I’m interviewing. have been out of work since June, when my previous company laid me off. My unemployment benefits end at the end of November, and I have been just barely scraping by this whole time. received a call from a company this afternoon to discuss a potential position. They were very enthusiastic to find someone with my qualifications and even asked how long I had been on the market, and said that I would likely hear from someone within the week to discuss further steps (i.e. Anyone? 4.

A reader writes: This is a puzzler for me: I recently had a third party recruiter get me in touch again with the hiring manager of a position I had applied and interviewed for but got passed over for earlier this year. I was excited for the second chance since this was my dream company, albeit this time it was gonna be contract to start. And even though they found out I had interviewed previously, they still phone screened me and had me come in for another face to face, and I believe and felt it went well. But of course, by that point, they’d been told it was the lowest you’d go. Other salary

A reader writes: My supervisor was recently moved out of my department and I believed she would be looking for new jobs. Lo and behold, I get an email from an out-of-state colleague saying she has applied for the director position there, and would I be able to unofficially tell him anything about her? He made it clear it would be a respectful off-the-record chat, not a full recommendation. My problem is this: I think she has a lot of great qualities that would make her a wonderful director for their program: vision, dedication, guts, ability to work well with high level people, etc. reference

A reader writes: The company I work at has about 13,000 employees, and I work in a department of about 350 employees. have over 20 years of experience as an administrative assistant. Where my desk is located, I am able to overhear conversations between the CEO and his assistant. While I can’t hear every word, I can get the jist of what’s going on. The CEO is new, he’s been in this department for almost a year now, and when he came on board he immediately promoted the front door receptionist to be his assistant. It’s become obvious this was a mistake. But now I can tell it’s starting to get old.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. We might have found a coworker’s suicide to-do list. have a second part-time job at a retail store and I am usually there only once or twice a week. normally work with “Betty” and sometimes with “Ethel.” ” They both often complain of working with another coworker, “Veronica,” saying that she snaps at them, is emotional, and often leaves work for seemingly no reason and cries often. While some of this behavior is probably true, Betty and Ethel tend to pile on and make it worse. ” 4. short answers

A reader writes: A few months ago my small team (less than 10 people) was assigned a new manager who is the complete opposite of our previous manager, at the direction of the next level supervisor who wanted major changes. The previous manager moved on to better things. The changes have been pretty stressful for some of the team members who remained. One of my colleagues began to suffer from various health issues, and our new boss started asking us to watch her when our boss was in a meeting/out of the office and to call for emergency medical assistance if needed.

A reader writes: I am a social worker at a large hospital. have been working here 3 months. My position is providing a specific service to hospital patients, and in theory, my team should consist of three full time staff and one part timer. As it stands, it’s only me and a coworker who has been in this position 5 years. This position is a good fit for me, except that I’m having a tough time with my coworker. She has a habit of procrastinating through the day. Basically, she spends more of her work hours messing around than actually working. How can I learn to live in this situation?

A reader writes: A few months back, my organization had a job opening for which we had a lot of internal candidates. We have a number of part-time, front line staff who are actively seeking full-time jobs, and whenever a full-time position comes available we usually get a lot of interest from those employees — and this time was no different. One of those internal candidates is a superstar on our front line, and was in the top three for the position but not our #1 choice. Still, we have a policy of calling all finalists’ references, so I spoke to all three of her listed references.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. My manager said the wrong number when giving me a raise. I’m not even sure where to begin on this one. recently had my one-year evaluation with my manager. To thank me for my good work, my manager said I would receive a raise and it would go into effect in the next pay cycle. Instead of phrasing the new salary in terms of the increase (like “your salary will increase this much”), she said the actual new salary amount. This new salary amount gave me a 6% increase so I was very happy. ”). never received anything in writing.

A reader writes: I recently began a job I adore at a smallish company, and was very surprised to learn that I would be given my own office. have only ever worked in cubicles before, and to be honest have no idea what to do with this newfound freedom, and how to conduct myself in my office without being rude or sending the wrong message. I am a social worker, so my coworkers all tend to be talkative and very nice, but I have a hard time working with my door open. I am easily distracted, and on top of that, feel a little awkward saying hi and smiling to people every time they walk by.

The way you manage your career has an enormous impact on your day-to-day quality of life, your earning potential, and your overall happiness when it comes to work. But how can you know if you’re managing your career effectively? At U.S. News & World Report today, I talk about the signs that will help you figure it out. For example: If you were laid off tomorrow, do you know who you’d call to talk about a job?) You can read it here. You may also like: is a higher-paying job worth extra stress? should employees have to train their new manager? work habits

A reader writes: I have a coworker who recently had a baby boy about six months ago. Four or five times now, she has asked her babysitter to drive her son to our workplace during lunch because she misses him and wants to spend time with him. Because of our work setting, employees’ family and friends are not technically allowed into the back areas of the facility where the break rooms are. My coworker will bring her son into the break room, meaning that he is in there with everyone else who is trying to eat lunch. However, I now feel like a terrible, cold-hearted person.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. Should I email my boyfriend’s interviewer about how much he deserves the job? My boyfriend is applying for an apprentice position. He moved states for me and I was wondering if it would be okay to email a possible employer about how much he deserves the job and tell them about how he moved for me and now I want to take a risk for him? Noooooooo. Oh my goodness, no. His girlfriend’s belief that he “deserves” the job will have exactly zero weight with an employer. Same thing for him moving for you and you now being willing to move for him.

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. This one is truly no work and no school. If you have a work question, you can email it to me or post it in the work-related open thread on Fridays.). Book recommendation of the week:  Missing, Presumed , by Susie Steiner. Edith Hind, a young woman from a well-connected family, is missing … but the story is about all the people left behind as much as it’s about the investigation into her disappearance. open threads

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go…. 1. My sister and I are in the running for the same job. recently saw a job ad and showed it to my sister too. We both applied and we’ve both been called for an interview. Now I want to pull out and not attend the interview because I do not want competition between my sister and me. You can certainly do that, but what about talking with your sister and seeing how she feels? She might not want you to do that on her account, and/or should might feel that she should be the one to withdraw since you’re the one who found the ad.

Remember the letter-writer in July whose coworker stole his spicy food, got sick, and blamed him for it ? And HR was blaming him too? Here’s the (kind of amazing) update. ended up being fired by HR, as she said there was enough of a case to get rid of me before the top boss came back. consulted a lawyer who sent a letter to the company informing them that I was considering legal action. The letter contained the reasons for doing so and an account of what happened. One week later, I got a call from the guy who owns the company asking me to come back, with an apology. happy endings updates

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on anything work-related that you want to talk about. If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to talk to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please don’t repost it here, as it may be in the to-be-answered queue :). open threads

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. I was taken away from work in an ambulance. I had very embarrassing situation at work today. have been breaking out with a rash for the past two days. Today at work I was carted away in an ambulance. feel embarrassed that I got carted away because everyone saw me black out on our floor. I was terrified. Despite telling them not to call an ambulance, it was too late. I got carted off in front of the whole first floor. I was so embarrassed and scared. People are going to be asking me at work what happened to me. Do you have an words of wisdom?

A reader writes: I am the recruiting manager for my organization. We receive over 100 applications every month from candidates looking to fill some of our vacant positions. I am the only one who screens, interviews, checks references, runs background checks, and completes hiring paperwork with applicants. As you are well aware, it can be a very time consuming process. My question is, how can I get applicants to stop applying if we have already declined them multiple times? There are various reasons for this. Other times they have not returned calls for screens and interviews. for our company.

When you talk to managers about letting people working remotely, you hear the same concerns come up over and over again — they worry about communication and collaboration, and they’re not sure how to track productivity when people are off-site. But remote work has been common enough for long enough now that it’s pretty clear these issues are solveable. Over at QuickBase’s Fast Track blog today, I talk about how you do it. You can read it here. have a telecommuting horror story? workplace practices

A reader writes: I seem to always be running late and I hate it. I  am one of those people who absolutely loves to be early to things, but I can never seem to make it to work on time. Usually I’m only running about 5 minutes late at the most, but at least once or twice a month I run 10-15 minutes late. Nothing I do seems to help. If I set my alarm for an earlier time, I sleep through it or snooze it a bunch because I just can’t seem to get up. Every time I’m early is wonderful and I love it, but it never seems to last. What can I do to get better about this? Readers, what’s your advice?

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. We have to provide food to our managers for Boss’s Day. It’s that time again — Boss’s Day is Monday. The staff where I work have received the usual cringe-worthy email from the office manager, notifying us we are to provide a breakfast potluck plus afternoon desserts for our bosses. There is a sign-up sheet, no doubt for convenient tracking of who participates. The office manager kindly suggested that “store bought treats” would be acceptable, although the expectation clearly is “homemade.” ” 2.

A reader writes: I have a weird etiquette problem. I’ve been at a nonprofit for over eight years in a position that works very closely with our advisory board. recently had a baby and I’ve been out on maternity leave. My husband and I decided that it makes sense for me to resign from my job to stay home with our son for a few years. went to my office so my coworkers could meet the baby and so I could tell my boss, Angela, in person that I wouldn’t be coming back. But then things got awkward. When I told her I had no idea what she was talking about, she was shocked.

A reader writes: I recently was given the responsibility of finding interns for our company. In the process of reviewing applications, I Googled one of them. The first search result was her Facebook page so I clicked on it, and saw that many of her posts and pictures were set to “public.” ” I did not see anything out of the ordinary or really anything that would prevent her from getting a job, but decided to mention it to my boss and coworker anyway, just to see what they thought. Am I wrong? Is looking up a potential intern or employee prior to an interview unethical?

A reader writes: I’m a 20something woman in tech. Since day one, I had to fight for a place in this field, convincing interviewers that I could do more than customer support, that I deserve the same opportunities my male counterparts have. To this day, I have only had three jobs (tech support, trainee, and junior developer), and I worked really hard to get each of them. The problem started when I lost my last job. returned from a sick leave only to find out I was no longer an employee. My coworkers were shocked and outraged to the point they made my boss apologize. Enter my parents.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. My boss has been joking that I don’t work after 5. My manager has made several comments to me in the past couple of weeks about how I don’t “work after five.” ” He’s a big jokester most of the time, so these comments are always made in the form of a joke and he laughs after he says it. really do tend to work only 8:30-5:00, but as far as I can tell I’m meeting all of my monthly goals that are set, so these comments are throwing me for a loop. have in the past contributed to this. Also possibly “divisive.”

A reader writes: I am the assistant to the executive director of a nonprofit human services agency. The culture of the agency includes having the employees and the volunteers wear costumes to work on Halloween. In all of my long work history, wearing costumes to work on Halloween has never before been a part of the workplace culture. Part of my work involves interacting with the public, and my personal standards include the belief that it is not correct to for staff to wear Halloween costumes in the workplace, especially when interacting with members of the public. workplace practices

A very timely reader writes: TLDR: Small group of intense coworkers from the opposite end of the political spectrum take over the break room from about 10:30-1:30 every day, play political cable news, and are impossible/ obnoxious to divert the politics from the room. think they fundamentally don’t understand that it makes the shared room feel hostile to those who are trapped in the space with them (along with soooo many other things). need to eat often, can’t eat in my office (I work with historic materials), and moving elsewhere on campus for my pregnant food is a serious time-suck.

A reader writes: I have a staff member who I hired recently, and she’s been out of the workforce for five or so years while she was a stay at home mother. have been conscious of the adjustment for her being back in an office, and overall she’s been quite enthusiastic about working again. The problem is that she regularly complains about missing her children, and acts quite often as if work is a hardship or an imposition standing in her family’s way. At school holidays, she’ll work the bare minimum and talk often and bitterly about how she’s not with them.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. I got into a fight with my husband’s coworker over their affair. My husband works at a restaurant, I caught that he was having an affair with one of his coworkers. I saw the all their text messages and confirmed some of it from their friends. Though I don’t know if they have a sexual relationship, I do know that they were hiding it from me and the coworker’s husband (part of the messages were “delete this conversation” or “you can’t text me right now because I’m at home”). confronted my husband. Fast forward a few months. short answer

It’s Columbus Day and I could use a break, so here’s an old post from 2012  that I’m making new again. reader writes: Recently, I accepted a part-time RN position, but resigned within the 90-day probationary period due to several personal and professional factors. I had tried to re-enter the workforce after being a stay-at-home mother for 9 years. I had mixed emotions about leaving the position, but overall it was not meshing well with our family needs. felt like an RN number rather than a respected individual. He was fed up with the financial burden the job had become. Oh dear.

A reader writes: In late August, I got hired part-time at a major cafe/restaurant. I’m a senior in high school so I’ve been working on weekends and one night during the business week since then. However, my parents have booked a 10-day vacation right during the Christmas holidays — which is of course a vacation blackout period where I work. I’m fairly certain (although not 100% because I have not asked) that if I take this time off, I will be fired from my job, especially because I’m such a new employee. Would you be devastated if you lost the job over this?

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. My coworker keeps telling me he’s praying for me. My coworker is of a different denomination than I am. He constantly is telling me that my lunch is sinful (heaven save us all from a ham sandwich!) and that by not belonging to a church (in the form of a building not of a faith), I am not going to heaven. believe in God too but he has actually told others that I am not a “real” Christian. just don’t want to get into what I believe or the things I do to worship or pray. So do two things — first, if you haven’t already, tell him clearly to stop.

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. This one is truly no work and no school. If you have a work question, you can email it to me or post it in the work-related open thread on Fridays.). Book recommendation of the week:  Everything I Never Told You , by Celeste Ng. Family dramas, how I love you. open threads

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. Coworker keeps burping loudly and it’s disgusting. My department (all analytics) is pretty quiet. Most of the floor is waist-high cubes (i.e., no privacy), so we’re all fairly considerate of each other: earbuds for music, taking personal calls out to the stairwell, etc. There’s a line of small offices – with doors – down one side of the room. Our new IT help-desk guy has been installed in one of the offices. The problem? He belches. Daily. Horrid, long, loud, disgusting belches. Any ideas? It’s pretty distracting!

A reader writes: I have just over three years of work experience with the same organization. Within this time, I’ve been promoted internally (very similar position, with “senior” in the title) and then transferred to an international office (very different job responsibilities, but with the same title I had following my promotion). I am applying for graduate programs for fall 2017, and almost all applications ask for a resume. How do I format a resume so that it both showcases my achievements but also makes it clear that I’ve remained with the same organization. resume

A reader writes: I graduated from college nearly two years ago, and am looking for a professional mentor. I’ve worked at my current job at a small nonprofit since October. After working in a similar but very corporate field for the past two years, I know this is where I want to be. family friend connected me with this job opportunity, and I’m sure she’s part of the reason I got an interview. She has expressed interest in mentoring me, and help me navigate the working world. The only problem is she’s really hard to get in touch with. answer this question over at Inc.

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on anything work-related that you want to talk about. If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to talk to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please don’t repost it here, as it may be in the to-be-answered queue :). open threads

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. My manager invited one of us to her wedding, but not the rest of us. So I found out recently on Facebook (by happenstance though a mutual friend’s post) that my boss, Mary, invited one of my coworkers, Elle, to her wedding. For context — I and about 10 other people, including Elle, share the same job title. Mary is our department’s head. The three of us have been working together for the same amount of time since I was at the company before either Mary or Elle. It’s a little uncool. So yeah, it’s a little weird. short answers

Remember last week’s letter from the person whose coworker responded to everything she asked him to do with profanity, name-calling, flat refusals, and and “your mom” jokes ? Here’s the update. Not too long after my letter was published, Boss, Clerk, and I sat down to discuss my concerns. Boss said “I’m here as a mediator only… OP, take it away” and only cut in sparingly to clarify points or add her two cents. brought up the communication issues with Clerk and used the calling the front desk incident as an example. Truth be told, I’m not entirely surprised by the “tone” comment.

A reader writes: You often say that managers assume that if an employee has a problem with their work, they’ll say something. But you also tell employees that part of what they’re being paid for is to do tasks they don’t necessarily like to do, and to do them reasonably cheerfully. Can you shed some light on how to “say something” well, without making it seem like you don’t realize that second part? For example, I work at the local rec center. It’s a historic building, and giving tours is an important part of my and my colleagues’ jobs.

Over at the Fast Track by QuickBase today, I take a look at several big work-related stories in the news right now: why you feel busy all the time even if you’re not, why it gets harder to get real feedback the more you advance in your career, and more. You can read it here. You may also like: are you really as busy as you think you are? my manager says I’m too abrupt with coworkers I need to interrupt the office chit-chatter with work questions why you feel busy all the time even if you’re not, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager. work habits

I’m throwing this one out to readers to weigh in on. reader writes: A year ago, I jumped at the opportunity to take a promotion and move to a new business unit in my organization. It was a fantastic move for me: I’m happier all around, I’m doing more engaging work, and am by far the youngest manager in the new unit. As part of the promotion, I was moved to a new office located on a different campus in a different area of our city. The only other employee who works on this floor of the building is my sole direct report. Our relationship is great but strictly professional. ask the readers

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. Should I really do mediation with my incompetent boss? I am an admin at a small company, 15 employees, and have a high-anxiety supervisor. Every day the supervisor’s work includes multiple errors, not remembering items or situations, and anxiety about issues that have no impact on the day-to-day running of the office. The manager suggested mediation. I’m not sure what we can achieve with mediation. Will it just be a session where we air our grievances and then everyone goes back to work as if nothing has happened? She felt used?

A reader writes: I manage a small staff of admins, which includes one technical support person. Yesterday our tech was doing some non-crucial updates to the phone system, which required him to check each phone in the office. When he got to the conference room, another employee was already in there taking a call on his cell phone. The tech proceeded to walk into the conference room anyway to check the handset in there. Being behind the guy and seeing the other employee on his cell phone, I tried to stop the tech but he kept going. He kept saying, “I know, I know.” being the boss

A reader writes: Does it really matter which email provider you use to apply for jobs? I ask because I was reading an online discussion recently where people said anything other than Gmail makes a candidate look computer illiterate and/or less intelligent. Essentially, according to this discussion, AOL is for old people or people who can’t use a computer; Yahoo and Hotmail are slightly better, but not much; and Gmail is the provider of choice for intelligent candidates who are computer savvy. Is this true? answer this question — and four others — over at Inc. You can read it here.

A reader writes: I’m currently interviewing for a new position with a company that works remotely. Over the past two weeks, I’ve had 10+ video calls with every member of the small team, along with a bunch of unpaid work tests that have included everything from client proposals to personality tests. Today I got an email asking me to send one to two references in each of five categories. One of those categories is “coworker(s) that you didn’t get along with.” Am I off-base for feeling uncomfortable with what they’re asking of me? What the actual F. Fine.).

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. My interviewer is bringing his kid to our interview. have just been advised that the attorney I am interviewing with will have his middle-school-aged child in the interview. find this inappropriate and unprofessional. What is your take on this? And if asked a question of the child; am I obligated to answer? Yeah, it’s not great. I’m assuming that there’s been some kind of emergency and he had to bring his kid to work today. But is there no separate room the kid can hang out in during the interview? If he were, I’d tell him not to do it.

A reader writes: I have been following your blog for more than a year now and I must say that it has been an invaluable source of advice and inspiration. Following your advice, I got interviews with every company I have applied to and received an offer. I am currently preparing to apply for a rotation graduate program which I feel I could really excel in. have spent weeks researching the company and with the applications’ deadline approaching, the stress got to me, so I contacted a professional CV writer. ” His main arguments are a lack of personality and awkward phrasing.

A reader writes: I am a lady-type person, and I’ve been with my tech-industry employer for about a year and a half. work in a customer-service-type role as liaison between a handful of regular customers and engineers/developers. I am one of a two-person team in this role. My previous teammate, officially the Team Lead, was part of a surprise office re-org at the end of March and moved into a different role in sales and account management. also lost the next-level manager who had been in charge of the two of us – he went with her. asked several times about my application during this time.

A reader writes: Six months ago, I started a new position after leaving a very toxic work environment. One of my colleagues on my team, Mary, is responsible for the majority of my training and is essentially my counterpart. initially worked longer hours, since Mary works remotely across the country and I wasn’t able to complete training without her. Sometimes I’ll check in about half an hour before the end of the day to see if there’s anything else needed from me, she’ll say yes, and then keeps me waiting (sometimes up to an hour or more!). Any advice?

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. Employee’s long bathroom breaks are tying up the customer bathroom. We own and operate a retail hardware store that has been in business for 35 years. My brother and I grew up in the business and a few years ago bought the store from our parents. We employ 8-10 staff and operate in a little under 6,000 square feet. We have an employee who has been with us for over five years. He is vital to out small operation. However, he routinely takes extended bathroom breaks. We have one bathroom downstairs that we all use, including customers.