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company is planning a secret overnight trip, lying to clients about freelancers, and more
Ask a Manager
OCTOBER 24, 2016
It would definitely reflect on her judgement if she asked for reimbursement for, say, the snacks she ate while studying for the exam or a framed portrait of herself to hang on her office wall. It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go…. 1. My company is planning an overnight trip with secret activities. My company (a young tech start-up) is planning an overnight company trip. They’ve been keeping the details secret, which has caused a lot of anxiety, especially since teasers implied that we would be going camping. Do you have any advice for how to approach this?
you are reading way too much into things employers say to you
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APRIL 28, 2016
What you hear: We will definitely be talking more, either when you advance to another interview or when we call to make you a job offer. Most job seekers have a terrible habit of reading way more into things employers say than what’s actually meant. That’s understandable — job seeking can be anxiety-producing, and it’s natural to try to find clues about your candidacy. Here are some additions. What the employer says: You’re a really great fit for this job. What you hear: We are highly likely to hire you, and possibly even entirely certain. What they mean: You’re a good candidate.
an employer asked me the lowest salary I’d accept, rejected me, and then refused to keep talking
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OCTOBER 19, 2016
If you happen to have a figure that you know is truly the bottom limit of what you’d accept (meaning you would definitely walk away if the offer came in lower) and which wouldn’t feel like a lowball to you if that’s what they offered, then sure, go ahead and tell them “I wouldn’t be able to take it for less than $X.” And even though they found out I had interviewed previously, they still phone screened me and had me come in for another face to face, and I believe and felt it went well. But of course, by that point, they’d been told it was the lowest you’d go. Other Probably not. salary
how can I avoid talking about my wedding at work, asking employers to speed up their hiring process, and more
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JULY 17, 2016
No, definitely don’t do that. If the question were about suits, I’d say definitely not to wear suits or anything close to them in a t-shirts-and-jeans office, because that tends to put you at a remove from everyone else. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. Can I ask employers to interview me faster because of my money situation? My electricity was recently shut off and it will be a week or two before it is scheduled to be back on. I am in the process of doing a ton of phone screenings for jobs where the hiring processes are lengthy. Is this appropriate?
Leaving performance reviews behind: Where to start [Guide]
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I walked in on employees having sex — and I think there’s a sex club in my office
Ask a Manager
APRIL 22, 2015
You’ll never be able to think of everything you need a rule for, and you definitely don’t want to work somewhere that attempts that. A reader writes: I am the manager of a customer service team of about 10-12 members. Most of the team members are right out of school and this is their first professional job and their ages range from 22-24. I am about 10 years older than all of my employees. We have a great team and great working relationships. They all do great work and we have established a great team culture. Fast forward a few months. immediately closed the door and left.
what to say if you want to walk out of a horrible intervew
Ask a Manager
OCTOBER 20, 2015
To be clear, I’m not encouraging you to walk out of interviews willy-nilly, and definitely not if you’re not 100% sure that you won’t want to work for this company or these people in the future. One thing I’ve noticed in years of writing this blog is that people when find themselves in terrible, ridiculous job interviews where they’re being mistreated — or even just interviews where it’s clear really early on that this isn’t the right match — they feel obligated to stick it out until the end. You’re not obligated to stay when that happens. You’re allowed to do the same thing yourself.
is it okay to mention “mommy brain” in a job interview?
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JANUARY 11, 2016
” There are often times when I don’t speak as clearly or as concisely as I used to and I often forget words — sometimes right in the middle of a sentence — and when that happens, I kind of blank out and it’s a bit hard for me to recover, especially in the middle of an interview. I had an interview in November where I feel I was off my game and definitely not the same sharp, charming candidate I was prior to getting pregnant or having a baby. So, do you think its ever okay to mention “mommy brain” to an interviewer? And if so, how? interviewing
my boss is constantly commenting on my face and telling me to smile
Ask a Manager
SEPTEMBER 21, 2016
And it’s 99.999% likely that he definitely wouldn’t be buttering up a male employee by telling him he was handsome. A reader writes: I was hoping for your input on something that has plagued me all my life. I am a woman who has a very masculine/serious looking face that many would consider to be RBF (or resting b h face). I am only in my mid 20’s and it seems to constantly be an issue at work. My male boss is always walking by my desk (while I am focused) and making joking comments like “Don’t you like working here?” ” or “Come on, smile!”
coworkers think I left a bad Glassdoor review, negative feedback in an open office, and more
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NOVEMBER 1, 2016
It’s not how professional jobs typically work, but it’s definitely true that some retail and food service jobs will just take people off the schedule rather than having a direct conversation. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. My coworkers think I left a bad Glassdoor review, but I didn’t. work at gossipy, small, family-owned, white collar business. We have about 40 employees, many of whom have been here for decades. have been with the company for about a year and a half in an entry-level position (this is my first job out of college). Just my paranoia.)
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we can be fired if our friends and family don’t follow the company’s religious values
Ask a Manager
MARCH 30, 2016
So, in answer to your question: Definitely not normal, definitely not okay, definitely outrageous. A reader writes: The company that I work for is fairly conservative and has warned us that they are implementing a new policy where everyone will have to sign a legal document stating we uphold our company’s values. We all had to sign something similar when we were hired, but there is a catch now — we can be fired if our friends and family don’t follow the company’s values. If we don’t sign, we have been told that we do not have a job. What?!
my office is going overboard on team-building activities
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AUGUST 13, 2015
It doesn’t require delving into anyone’s childhood, and it definitely doesn’t involve pointed stares at people who raise questions about doing it at all. A reader writes: I’ve been in my office for about 10 months. When I initially joined, we had a weekly event called Friday Fitness, where each week a different person would lead a quick 15-minute workout. Everyone in our office thoroughly enjoys Friday Fitness because it breaks up the monotony of our office desk jobs and is a great team-building activity. When these ideas were being floated around, I almost fell out of my seat!
we have to provide food to our managers for Boss’s Day, my boss hates me, and more
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OCTOBER 12, 2016
It’s definitely annoying and weird, but I don’t think that it’s worth asking to meet with the highest-level branch manager over. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. We have to provide food to our managers for Boss’s Day. It’s that time again — Boss’s Day is Monday. The staff where I work have received the usual cringe-worthy email from the office manager, notifying us we are to provide a breakfast potluck plus afternoon desserts for our bosses. There is a sign-up sheet, no doubt for convenient tracking of who participates. ” 2. My boss hates me.
why am I not getting promoted into a management job?
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APRIL 21, 2016
If you haven’t, that’s the missing piece, and you should definitely do that before concluding that you should move on. A reader writes: It’s been more than five years since I’ve graduated from college, and I’m currently seeking two graduate degrees. My reasoning for going back to school was simply because it was hard for me to find promotions where I’d gain and exercise any leadership skills. I’ve managed two extracurricular clubs while in school. I’ve held prominent leadership roles in my church and other volunteer-based organizations. work habits
how managers should communicate decisions they don’t agree with
Ask a Manager
AUGUST 25, 2015
expect to hear something definitive by the end of next month, and I’ll keep you posted.”. A reader writes: I’m a unit head at a government agency that is having some serious financial and managerial turmoil. The powers that be are contemplating a decision that could have a very negative impact on my area, and our manager called all his units to discuss the issue. He explained the case he would make, but also said repeatedly, “I’ll do my best, but you know that the boss will end up doing whatever the boss wants, and there’s nothing I can really do to stop it.” Openly disgusted, no.
will taking occasional time off make me look unreliable?
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APRIL 11, 2016
Whoa, no, it’s definitely not excessive! A reader writes: Close to a year ago, I started my first full-time professional job. Prior to that, I had been in college and I worked part-time in retail. I’ve always prided myself on being reliable. I can count the number of times I missed class in college on one hand, and I only called in sick at work if it really felt necessary, which was rare. usually had at least one weekday off, which made it easy to schedule things like doctor’s appointments. just don’t know how to handle it. new grads workplace practices
boss asked me to be “brutally honest,” manager ignores my emails, and more
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JUNE 20, 2016
Email that don’t require a response … don’t require a response, by definition. But this in and of itself isn’t something to feel disrespected over, and it’s definitely not something you have standing to complain to your boss about. 3. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. Boss asked me to be “brutally honest” during an exit interview. resigned earlier this week with my department head. would have liked to have done so with her assistant, who more closely manages me, but she is on vacation. At this point, I am happy to just move on and chalk it up. short answers
can I ask for a second chance to interview if I feel like I didn’t get a fair shot?
Ask a Manager
MAY 3, 2016
You noted that you didn’t get a chance to talk about yourself much, but there are ways to become a definite no in just a few minutes of conversation — such as if you seemed too low-energy, or unenthused about the job, or unprepared for the interview, or arrogant, or all sorts of other things that can move you straight to a rejection. A reader writes: I have a question about an interview I had recently. applied for a position that I seem well-qualified for as a well-rounded potential employee. I was asked to set up a short 10-minute phone interview with a recruiter, and it went okay.
fired employee wants to attend the holiday party, rejected for going to school full-time, and more
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NOVEMBER 18, 2015
This employee most definitely burned bridges during their final few weeks of work — using four-letter words towards coworkers and calling us a “venomous” office, and did not finish their final tasks without informing anyone, leading to very late nights for the rest of the department to meet a tight deadline. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. Fired Fired employee wants to attend the company Christmas party. Said employee was laid off instead of fired as a sort of favor, and was given the reason as a lack of work for their position. Should I have said that?
I feel insulted by my raise — and I let my boss know it
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JANUARY 11, 2016
It’s definitely lower than average (the average annual raise is around 3%), but without knowing what factors went into it, there’s no way to say whether you should be outraged, disappointed, pleased, or something else. A reader writes: Last month, I had my first performance review at my first job out of college. Despite overwhelmingly positive feedback (98/100 points) and that fact that the company boasted their “best year to date,” I got a pretty abysmal raise of just 0.5%. But the worst part was the way my manager conveyed it, with an enthusiastic “congratulations!”
my coworker keeps telling me he’s praying for me, my workplace contacted people I haven’t seen in years while I was hospitalized, and more
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OCTOBER 9, 2016
Weirdly, I know there wasn’t a miscommunication — the manager I texted apparently later showed up at my apartment with the police (?!), and she definitely knew I was going to be in the hospital. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. My coworker keeps telling me he’s praying for me. My coworker is of a different denomination than I am. He constantly is telling me that my lunch is sinful (heaven save us all from a ham sandwich!) and that by not belonging to a church (in the form of a building not of a faith), I am not going to heaven. What the hell?!
saying you have to talk over a job offer with your spouse, ordered to appear “enthusiastic and upbeat,” and more
Ask a Manager
AUGUST 1, 2016
You can definitely spot certain types of performance issues in two weeks. You wouldn’t expect someone to be performing perfectly in two weeks, but in many jobs you can tell if someone is catching on to the basics, retaining a reasonable amount of info, paying attention to instructions, approaching the work with conscientiousness, and so forth. I’ve definitely known the sinking “oh crap, this may have been the wrong hire” feeling pretty early on. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. Saying that you have to talk over a job offer with your spouse. Pretty unlikely.
should I ask my coworker why she didn’t hire my son, I stole from an employer years ago, and more
Ask a Manager
SEPTEMBER 18, 2016
The reference he gave you really doesn’t count if the person is a good friend — it’s possible that there could be some value in talking to him (although I probably wouldn’t even bother if it’s a “best” friend) but you definitely wouldn’t want that to be your main or only reference. There’s definitely not a universal etiquette rule that you’re supposed to invite your boss to your wedding. If your fiance wants to invite his boss, that’s totally fine — but it’s definitely not a standard thing you’re expected to do. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1.
is it true that 80% of job openings are never advertised, last-minute meetings, and more
Ask a Manager
MARCH 27, 2016
definitely wouldn’t do an “other names used” section or even the “as Sally Tyrell” option next to each job. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. Is it true that 80% of job openings are never advertised? always hear the statement that “You know, 80% of job openings are never posted or advertised.” ” What do you think? Is this statement true or false? What has been your experience? If it is true, how are 80% of these jobs getting filled then? How can job seekers find these jobs? If it is false, why do people make these kinds of statements? What can I do?
how can I get other managers to stop giving my team last-minute work they knew about in advance?
Ask a Manager
AUGUST 18, 2016
It seems a bit harsh, and I could definitely work on wording, but I think it may be necessary. A reader writes: I’m a new manager who heads up a team of 12 employees, and I’m having an issue with the other groups that we work with. My problem is that the other groups have developed a nasty habit of not including my team on work to be performed, then dropping it on us demanding it be done “ASAP.” This has caused us to miss deadlines on important tasks due to our scrambling to complete work that won’t be needed for a month out. What are your thoughts?
how to explain to interviewers why I quit my job without another one lined up
Ask a Manager
JULY 30, 2015
but it’s definitely A Thing that comes up in interviewing if you do it. A reader writes: I recently resigned from my position at my previous employer due to its toxic environment and unsupportive senior management. I was constantly being thrown under the bus. The position didn’t align with my career goals anyway, and I could no longer reconcile the fact that I was in a stressful, low-paying job I didn’t even want. Now that I’m doing interviews, potential employers are asking me why left, and I don’t want to necessarily badmouth my previous employer. interviewing
should I do mediation with my incompetent boss, recruiter said she felt used when I turned down an offer, and more
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OCTOBER 5, 2016
It’s definitely not my computer messing up files, as I opened it using my coworker’s laptop and the same “Captain Picard” author name was there loud and proud when saving the file. Definitely don’t apply if you don’t want the job. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. Should I really do mediation with my incompetent boss? I am an admin at a small company, 15 employees, and have a high-anxiety supervisor. The manager suggested mediation. I’m not sure what we can achieve with mediation. Will we all be expected to change our behavior?
giving a reference for an alcoholic friend who won’t talk to me, new job is pushing me to move up my start date, and more
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JUNE 5, 2016
And no, she’s not one of those managers who blurs the boundaries of work and friendship – our team goes out for the occasional happy hour or birthday lunch, and we’re friendly, but professional boundaries are definitely respected. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. Giving a reference for an alcoholic friend who won’t talk to me. work for a law enforcement agency and have become used to giving personal references for friends and extended family, who like having me listed as a reference due to my position in a place of authority. FREEZING AC EVERYWHERE.
job candidate called me four times in one day, coworker might be deliberately undermining my work, and more
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MAY 12, 2016
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not up in arms but considering the magnitude of the project I’ve been working on and my stress levels when she messaged me, it definitely rubbed me the wrong way. If it keeps happening after that, then yes, you definitely do need to loop in his boss. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. Job candidate called me four times in one day. I am in the process of scheduling interviews for a new opening in our department. called a batch of candidates this morning and left messages for a few of them. Fast forward to this afternoon. Thank you!”.
do job-seekers really need an elevator pitch?
Ask a Manager
OCTOBER 14, 2015
Strong candidates, practically by definition, don’t do it. I don’t know if it’s because weaker candidates are feeling more desperate so they’re grasping at any advice that they’ve heard might work, or if it’s bad judgment that’s entwined with the reasons they have a weaker resume to begin with, or who knows what. A reader writes: I recently visited my grad school on behalf of my employer as part of their college recruiting team. They’re making an “elevator pitch” for themselves. Is this something that college career centers are telling students to do?
I was taken away from work in an ambulance, can I ask my coworker to give back an unopened gift, and more
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OCTOBER 13, 2016
It’s definitely not evidence that she doesn’t feel bound to follow instructions, because having mutual contacts reach out is such a normal thing to do. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. I was taken away from work in an ambulance. I had very embarrassing situation at work today. have been breaking out with a rash for the past two days. Today at work I was carted away in an ambulance. feel embarrassed that I got carted away because everyone saw me black out on our floor. I was terrified. People are going to be asking me at work what happened to me. Is she a petty person?
I think my on-call coworker was high when I contacted him
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AUGUST 31, 2016
And if there are safety issues involved, that should move you to a definite yes.). A reader writes: I’ve got a bit of a very modern doozy here. work in a position where I regularly call on-call personnel after hours to investigate technical issues, often states away. I had to call our on-call person and, well, I’ll be honest here, I’m pretty sure he was high: he was laughing at things I said and he was having trouble understanding what I was saying. The conversation ended up being a total wash, because he couldn’t understand and kept interrupting me by laughing.
when your boss asks you to plunge the toilet (and the return of the nieces)
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MARCH 23, 2015
However, although this is definitely outside of the job description, if you don’t have other options, I’d say plunge the toilet. That’s true, and like I said if you can get a better job you definitely should and he was right to quit. ” He definitely shouldn’t be telling you or any other employee to do things that far from the job description. Two years ago, my nieces (then 9 and 12) helped me answer a letter here. Since then, there’s been a clamor for their return. They’re back today. So here’s the question. 14-year-old M.:
cold-emailing strangers to ask for career advice
Ask a Manager
FEBRUARY 1, 2016
No, it’s definitely not rude! A reader writes: I’m a recent college graduate currently trying to explore my options on what career I want to pursue. I’d love to talk to people who are actually working in those areas and get a real perspective about what it’s like—and what it would take to get there. Many of the ideas I’m considering would be very small fields, and it’s unlikely that my few contacts at my alma mater would be able to help me. How should I approach writing these emails? Here are some examples of the kind of questions that you could ask.
I’m hearing secondhand reports of problems with an employee — but she denies them
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AUGUST 10, 2016
But definitely don’t keep pushing the issue until you’ve gathered more data. A reader writes: I have had a number of members on my team come to me lately with concerns about one particular employee. They say that she takes long breaks, leaves early (she’s got a job where she needs to be in the office at set times), and spends too much time socializing. She was clearly completely blindsided, felt totally betrayed by her colleagues, and didn’t have any ideas for what may have caused the perception or how to resolve it. good management
boss wants me to give him dirt on my coworker, manager thinks I accepted a job but I didn’t, and more
Ask a Manager
MARCH 16, 2016
Well, it’s going to look a little weird that you didn’t correct her on the spot, but you definitely need to speak up — you can’t take a position you don’t want just because you were caught off-guard. I’d say this: “I realized the other day when we touched base about the X position, you framed it as if I was definitely going to move into it! It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. My manager thinks I accepted a job — but I didn’t and I don’t want it. I’ve been contracted with a company for about five months now. And say it ASAP, like today. 2.
my staff doesn’t like it that I use the Socratic method with them
Ask a Manager
JANUARY 6, 2016
They’ve definitely hinted at this in a not-so-subtle way – okay, I get it. A reader writes: I’m a fairly new manager (two years) of a small team and recently received some feedback from an employee that I don’t know what to do about. previous employee had also given me the same feedback so I’m starting to see a pattern. When team members come to me with questions, I tend not to give the answer right away, but ask them questions back to stimulate their thinking. Sometimes they are quite far off and we end up spending 15-30 minutes fleshing it out.
boss told me not to check messages on vacation but tried to reach me anyway, company claims they don’t have a pay range, and more
Ask a Manager
AUGUST 2, 2016
It’s definitely not too late. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. Manager told me not to check messages on vacation, then tried to reach me anyway. I am wondering if I am wrong to be annoyed by something my boss did. Background: I work in a tough field, one that is very psychologically draining, due to witnessing terrible things on a regular basis. My workplace pays lip service to taking time off to recharge and says not to check messages while on vacation. Recently, I took one week off for my first wedding anniversary. Silly me. asked what the pay range of the job was.
how can I get my staff to sign up to work after-hours events?
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AUGUST 3, 2016
There’s definitely an organizational push to do more–I am forever hearing iterations of “I heard that there’s going to be a Teapot Fest, are we planning on having a booth?” or “I was at Kettle Center and saw that they offer instruction in tea brewing. A reader writes: I’m a department manager for a small public entity that specializes in education and recreation. We have a small staff (less than 20, and most are part-time). My department coordinates our outreach efforts. This often involves having a presence at local community events that typically fall on weekends or evenings.
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