Over at Intuit QuickBase’s Fast Track blog today, I take a look at several interesting work-related stories in the news right now, including Amazon’s rules for hiring the best people and a new study showing that women are still expected to do more of the office “housework.” ” You can read it here. Amazon’s rules for hiring, who’s doing the most office housework, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager. workplace practices

So you’ve got an employee on your team who keeps making mistakes – maybe small ones, but they’re chronic. You see potential in the person and you’re not ready to cut your losses. What can you try to get them back on track? This  got discussed in the comments on a recent post , and I asked for permission to share some of the great advice people offered. At Intuit Quickbase’s Fast Track blog today, I highlight some of my favorite suggestions from readers. You can read it here. what to do when an employee keeps making mistakes was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. My office presented donations to an injured employee’s parent with much fanfare. A few months back, an employee of my company was hit by a car on their way to work and was very seriously injured. They spent weeks in the hospital and are now going through extensive rehab. My department decided to raise some money for the employee for the holidays. Altogether a few hundred dollars were raised. thought this was a nice gesture and was happy to chip in. feel super uncomfortable with this. What would you have done as a manager? short answer

Remember the letter-writer who was being forced to park a mile away from her office because of a parking shortage? Here’s her update. continued with my gentle reminders for my manager to request that my parking be moved, as she had asked me to, but at the same time started searching for a new job. I was able to park for free a lot of the time, on a street about a block away, and the rest of the time I parked in patient parking and was subsidized by my parents. only found one job that seemed like a good fit. After that interview, I was asked in for another. Thanks so much!! updates

A reader writes: I’ve noticed in my office that nearly all of the holiday planning responsibilities fall to women. This is in a traditionally male-dominated industry where there has been progress in hiring/promoting women, but we’re still generally underrepresented. However, in the party planning efforts, usually all, or all-but-one of the representatives are women. This isn’t some vast management conspiracy. The first thing to look at is the roles of the women who end up doing the party planning. To answer your first question about whether that’s really a problem: Yes.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. My phone number used to belong to a prostitute. recently got a new phone number when I switched cell phone companies. My resume has been updated with the new phone number and sent out to a few different openings. googled my phone number tonight, and found that it used to belong to a prostitute. found the original ad listed on a website commonly used for that purpose, as well as several reviews and ratings of her, uh, services on different sites. Apparently phone number is a common way for these ratings sites to identify different providers.

Remember the letter-writer who was berated by an angry driver, who then turned out to be a coworker ? Here’s the update. Two business days after the first incident, I pulled into my deck to find the same car parked in my reserved spot, and the man standing alongside his car. I was freaked out and immediately turned around; I didn’t notice that there was another driver pulled over to the side as well. Turns out the guy had turned into the Expectant Mother spot, realized it was reserved, and hit another car as he was backing out of it. updates

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. Asking an interviewer whether any employees bring guns to work. No really, this IS hypothetical! Maybe it’s a silly question, but it just occurred to me and I’m curious about your take. candidate, Jane, is contemplating a job offer at Firm “X”—just a standard office environment, nothing unusual or inherently dangerous. Firm X has no particular policy regarding weapons or firearms in the workplace, but is located in a place where concealed, permitted, firearms can be legally carried. short answers

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. Can I ask to leave early on my second day of work to attend my son’s preschool concert? have just accepted an offer with a company two weeks ago and will be starting my new job in 2 weeks. just found out that my 3-year-old has a Christmas concert in his preschool on the second day of my first week at my new job. would really like to attend his concert but am not sure if it is acceptable to leave early on my second day. I was wondering if I could ask my manager if I could leave early to attend my son’s concert. wouldn’t.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. My manager invited one of us to her wedding, but not the rest of us. So I found out recently on Facebook (by happenstance though a mutual friend’s post) that my boss, Mary, invited one of my coworkers, Elle, to her wedding. For context — I and about 10 other people, including Elle, share the same job title. Mary is our department’s head. The three of us have been working together for the same amount of time since I was at the company before either Mary or Elle. It’s a little uncool. So yeah, it’s a little weird. short answers

A reader writes: I manage a small staff of admins, which includes one technical support person. Yesterday our tech was doing some non-crucial updates to the phone system, which required him to check each phone in the office. When he got to the conference room, another employee was already in there taking a call on his cell phone. The tech proceeded to walk into the conference room anyway to check the handset in there. Being behind the guy and seeing the other employee on his cell phone, I tried to stop the tech but he kept going. He kept saying, “I know, I know.” being the boss

I talked to Jessica Moorhouse for her very fun Mo’ Money podcast. We talked about what Ask a Manager is all about, why it’s better to just be a normal person in interviews, bringing up money with your interviewer, how to deal with difficult coworkers, and that letter about the employee who was casting magic curses on her coworkers. And apparently I’ve developed a verbal tic where I say “I mean…” constantly so you can hear that too! You can listen to it here.

Over at the Fast Track by QuickBase today, I take a look at several big work-related stories in the news right now: pinpointing the resistance at the root of your procrastinating, whether the paperless office finally coming, and more. You can read it here. You may also like: walking in on a coworker who’s clearly procrastinating will I look like I’m goofing off if I take notes on a tablet at meetings? outside work habits

A reader writes: I am not sure I should complaint to my HR department on this, but the situation is making me very uncomfortable at work. My manager got married about a year ago to a man with a child the same age as her own. The child was diagnosed as suffering from PTSD as a result of being abandoned by his mother several years ago. They have gone to therapy but do not seem to be making enough progress for her. She constantly berates this child for every small infraction and the father does not step in to intervene. She did not sound ashamed at all. But do I have a good cause for complaint?

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. My boss and I are friends, and my coworker feels excluded. The company I work for is about 400 employees, and the department I work for is a total of three (me, 31 years old; my boss, 32 years, and my coworker, 46 years). My boss and I are really good friends. We hang out after work and on the weekends. We even to go lunch on occasion during the work day. We always come back on time also and we never advertise that we went out. My coworker is now upset and will not talk to anyone, which I am assuming is because I am so close with the boss.

A reader writes: Last year, my good friend and colleague was transferred to new position at the same level. She was frustrated by the move and was vocal to just about everyone about it. She didn’t like the position, felt it was beneath her skill set, and believed she was long overdue for a promotion. encouraged her to embrace the role and was optimistic that in time she would enjoy the position. Since then, I have been promoted. This level of position in our discipline does not open up very often and I got the job instead of her. But I really don’t think that conversation will go over well.

A reader writes: My boyfriend invited me to join him for a weekend retreat at a resort hosted by the professional association he belongs to for work. The website mentions association members enjoying the event “with their families” so it sounds like it’s normal to bring a significant other, but I’ve never been to this sort of thing for my own work, let alone as a girlfriend, so I’m not sure what’s expected of me. then breakfast the last day. The resort has activities, a pool, and hiking trails I’d enjoy. Go and enjoy without worry!

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on anything work-related that you want to talk about. If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to talk to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please don’t repost it here, as it may be in the to-be-answered queue :). open threads

Here are five updates from people who had their questions answered here recently. 1. Company wants to have tea with my family as part of an international interview. We did end up having coffee in Tivoli a couple hours after we landed. My kids were enthusiastic and a little overly-rambunctious despite my warnings, but they really enjoyed themselves and I think the “interviewer” enjoyed showing off his favorite things about the park. It was definitely more of a social occasion to sell me on the wonders of living in the city, and it did a lot to sell my kids on moving. updates

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. When customers speak to each other in a foreign language they don’t realize I can understand. understand/speak a number of languages (to varying degrees of fluency) that you wouldn’t necessarily expect me to speak just from looking at me. This situation mostly arises with Spanish, Russian, or Chinese — languages which I can understand fairly well, but I don’t have the vocabulary to have more than a superficial conversation if I’m speaking that language. Thoughts? My boss asked me to vent to her. It depends. short answers

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. manage my boss’s husband and it’s terrible. work at a public institution that is partially funded by state/federal monies. Recently, the head of our institution hired her spouse to fill an entry-level spot in my department, of which I am the supervisor — so I am, very technically, her husband’s boss. I say “technically” because it often seems like he’s the boss since he came on board. He has a lot to say about how our department is run (mostly complaints), which he voices to his wife after work hours. Good lord.

A reader writes: I was wondering if you might give a bit of guidance on how to go about locating a location for a work/networking lunch. I’m the head of corporate responsibility and outreach for my company, so I’m periodically asked to lunch by community partners and agencies. Usually, these invitations are accompanied by the dreaded “I’ll head to your neck of the woods, so just let me know when you’re available.” At this point, I’m left trying to settle on a place to take them. Are there any cuisines or foods that should definitely, always be off the table (so to speak)? single. This one.

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on anything work-related that you want to talk about. If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to talk to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please don’t repost it here, as it may be in the to-be-answered queue :). open threads

A reader writes: I was lucky enough recently to have two job offers on the table, one for an executive assistant at Company 1 and one for an administrative assistant at Company 2. received both offers on a Friday afternoon, both verbal, both telling me that they would send through the written letter shortly. assumed that shortly would mean Monday, given the nature of the jobs and the companies (Company 1 being a real estate office, and Company 2 being a law firm). However, I got sent my offer letter for Company 1 on Saturday morning. Offer retracted. They were totally, utterly out of line.

A reader writes: I work alongside two other women in my department (Rachel and Monica) and report to the department director. They are very close, so I didn’t expect to instantly be the third Musketeer when I started last year. Not wanting to force anything, I just made an effort to be friendly (aka, myself, but not quite Phoebe) and work independently. Since then, I keep my distance as I’ve noticed some Mean Girls behavior from them. Regardless, we work well together, they invite me to lunch now and then, etc. Not long after, the director came to me to ask why my section was missing.

A reader writes: I was sitting at home last night and perusing one of those dating apps where you swipe right if you are interested in someone, and if they’ve swiped right on you as well you get a match. This particular app has a twist on it where if the match is a male/female pair, the woman has to speak first, and if they don’t speak within 24 hours, the match disappears forever. As I was swiping last night, I was watching TV and my mind was only half on what I was doing. As a result, I swiped right someone who is a director at my workplace. So now I’m not sure what to do.

A reader writes: I’m a junior faculty member in a department of about 10 faculty, all of whom are on the tenure track. In order to create support for the amount of research and writing that is required for this, I started a small accountability/support group of four other junior faculty (including me) who all started around the same time, so we could help each other through the tenure evaluation process. Consequently, I happen to be good friends outside of the office with two of them. Since then, we’ve hired two new faculty members. Head over there to read it. advice about your coworkers

A reader writes: I work for a large university, and this year has been full of announcements regarding upcoming changes. Namely, as part of a massive departmental merger, my teammates and I will be losing a lot of paid time off and taking a cut to our retirement plans. I did the math and it comes out to an ~8% loss in total compensation. To top all of this off, because I was hired after an apparently arbitrary cut-off date, I will take a further penalty on my future benefits. only started my job here 10 months ago and I was in my gig before this for only four months. Am I overreacting?

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on anything work-related that you want to talk about. If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to talk to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please don’t repost it here, as it may be in the to-be-answered queue :). You may also like: what was your most awkward networking encounter? my boss has phone sex with his girlfriend with his office door open how can I get my quiet, introverted boss to open up? open thread

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on anything work-related that you want to talk about. If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to talk to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please don’t repost it here, as it may be in the to-be-answered queue :). open threads

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. I don’t speak French but my job requires it. A few months ago I applied for a job with a large multinational which required French language skills. I met all the other requirements for this role, and made it clear in the cover letter that I did not speak French but considered myself to otherwise be a good fit for the position. When I did an interview screen with a recruiter, she said she was aware I did not speak French and this might be a problem, but said she’d leave that to the hiring manager to make that call. with a smile.

A reader writes: When I first started my job two years ago, I was on a design team with one other man, “Frank,” who had started a few months before me. He does not ask for deadlines and will often just work on whatever is dropped in his lap, whether or not there is something more pressing. moved beyond the frustration and grew accustomed to the new role structure, but over the next year Rebecca increasingly expressed frustrations (in meetings with Frank that he would describe to me later) that deadlines were being missed and projects not being attended to the way she would like.

A reader writes: I recently applied for and was promoted into a management position. manage a team of nine people. We are all new to each other, and the team has come together well, except for one issue. Our admin/divisional office manager/support person, “Jane,” has a prothestic limb. Fergus,” one of the other team members, constantly refers to Jane’s disability or brings up her being disabled. This annoys Jane because she doesn’t consider herself disabled. She has repeatedly asked Fergus to stop calling her disabled, but he continues to do it. He is an otherwise good worker.

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on anything work-related that you want to talk about. If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to talk to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please don’t repost it here, as it may be in the to-be-answered queue :). open threads

A reader writes: I recently found a position that I was interested in applying to on a very trade-specific website. The position is for a very large company that is headquartered on the East Coast, but the position is on the West Coast, where I live. The job ad didn’t list much information other than the basics — it was pretty sparse, and left a lot of questions open (at least in my mind). Someone I trust advised that I should call the hiring manager to express interest, ask questions, get more information before applying, etc. So I did. Is it overreaching? Part of me thinks (hopes?)

A reader writes: I work in a small regional branch of a national company. Since I’ve have been there, our manager has run a very … I don’t know, everything just worked and everyone got along. But last year, that manager retired and recommended the daughter of a friend of his to replace him. She had just graduated with an MBA from a very prestigious university. There was no discussion of whether she was qualified; we thought that his decision must be great, and upper management concurred. Still, we were asked to bring in lots of personal items to make our work areas more welcoming.

A reader writes: I’m not a manager, but I could use some outside advice. I’m an entry-level engineer who’s been with this company for just over a year. I’ve found this to be a great place to work with very friendly coworkers and exceptionally accommodating management. feel I’ve gone out of my way to help the team out, improve our internal operations, and generally be a positive influence in the office (so much so that I’ve received a 10% raise after my first year — not sure if that means anything, but I’m super proud of myself). Am I wrong?

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on anything work-related that you want to talk about. If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to talk to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please don’t repost it here, as it may be in the to-be-answered queue :). open threads

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. Asking my boyfriend’s boss to help me plan a secret vacation with him. My boyfriend of six and a half years is turning 30 between Christmas and New Year’s. His family and many of his close friends live in the UK. would like to surprise him with a trip to the UK for Christmas and so that he can spend his 30th with the people who mean the most to him. However, in order to do so, I would need to contact his manager to ask about booking time off for him. Our department camera was stolen from my office. Severance when an employee is fired.

Over at QuickBase’s Fast Track blog today, I take a look at several interesting work-related stories in the news right now, including why you should default to “no” when you’re overwhelmed, how to be productive when you’re sleep-deprived, and more. You can read it here. work habits

A reader writes: I’m assisting in the hiring for an open position at my company. Unless I change departments (which is feasible), this new hire will be my direct supervisor. I’m mid-level and the position is senior but not executive level. Someone I dated a few years ago is applying for the position and is likely to be a candidate we want to interview. We only dated for about six months and it ended amicably. think he might be great at the job, and I’d be very comfortable working with him but uncomfortable with him being my boss. You can read it here.

A reader writes: I’m in the process of looking for a new job and I’ve run into a bit of an issue. My young son is disabled and requires a lot of doctor and therapy appointments. My husband and I split this up as much as possible and always try to keep our time scheduled in the most effective way, but it is not unusual to have to leave work for 2-3 appointments a month. What is the best way to deal with this? Is it appropriate to bring up my family situation in the later stages of the interview process? answer this question — and four others — over at Inc. You can read it here. job offers

We hear about plenty of bad behavior from job seekers here — from the candidate who sent  a cake and a framed photo of himself to the hiring manager (?!), to the person who was  intentionally late to interviews as a “strategy,” to the guy who  advertised his job-hunting spouse  on a billboard, and so many more. Now it’s time to expand our list. What’s What’s the worst or weirdest behavior you’ve ever seen from a job candidate? There’s a whole category in the archives for bad behavior from interviewers , so this is not one-sided.). ask the reader

A reader writes: My question is about helping a coworker struggling with mental illness. work at a small company of about 25-ish people in a major city. My coworker — I’ll call her Amy — deals with severe anxiety. She has a lot of fears about doing things alone, like taking public transportation, taking an Uber, or even being home alone. Whenever he can, Amy’s partner accompanies her to and from work, but he’s got his own job and can’t always be there. This felt like the last straw to me, as the interns will obviously feel pressured to say yes to a full-time employee.

A reader writes: I have a colleague who is verbose. In any conversation where someone raises a work-related issue, he uses this in order to bludgeon the other party into submission. He leaves no space whatsoever for the other person to talk; he monologues. It is as if he has taken the traditional concept of a filibuster and attempted to apply it to working life. Not kidding – he has gone on for 20-30 minutes.) And if the other party tries to get a word in edgewise, he shouts at them that he’s not done talking, and then continues. Head over there to read it.

Being rejected for a job never feels great, but it can particularly suck when it’s for an internal promotion and you’ve been turned down by people who you see every day and who know your work well. But getting turned down for a promotion doesn’t need to be the end of your aspirations. At At U.S. News & World Report today, I talk five things that you can do in the aftermath of the rejection that can position you much more strongly for the next opportunity. You can read it here. rejections

A reader writes: My company policy requires that most items that I produce (reports, etc.) have to be reviewed by my manager before they can be sent to clients. My manager has many good qualities; unfortunately, the ability to accurately judge how long it will take him to complete a task is not one of them, and he consistently returns items to me well after he has promised them. These delays can range from hours to weeks. Additionally, I worry that by sending frequent follow-ups and reminders, I’m desensitizing him to the urgency and/or being annoying. Should I try and discuss with him again?

A reader writes: My company reorganized and instituted a new policy for one-on-ones with managers. Once a week, at the start of our one-on-ones, I have to spend six minutes where my manager tells me the best and worse things in his personal life and I have to return the favor. We get three minutes each. I don’t trust my manager enough to want to tell him any of the details of my personal life. But when I question these kinds of policies, he also gets upset and tells me I’m being hostile. I’ve been preparing more neutral best/worst things in advance. advice about your boss

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. This one is truly no work and no school. If you have a work question, you can email it to me or post it in the work-related open thread on Fridays.). You may also like: hiring-related emails that are sent at night or over the weekend if you’re self-employed or want to be, this post is for you interesting perks and random kindness weekend free-for-all – July 9-10, 2016 was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager. open threads

Remember the letter-writer last week who was terrified by an intense business course she was about to take ? (#2 at the link) I told her it was going to be much better than she was fearing and said I was going to send her a cupcake if I was wrong. CUPCAKE DENIED. Here’s the update. wasn’t at all sure to expect but I really enjoyed my time there. It was four hard days, 8am – 9pm in most cases, with workshops, speakers and the big challenge – about nine hours to put together a business idea to pitch at a dinner to four business pros (i.e., updates

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on anything work-related that you want to talk about. If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to talk to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please don’t repost it here, as it may be in the to-be-answered queue :). open threads

A reader writes: My first year of college, I signed up to volunteer as a hotline operator at my local rape crisis center. went through the required online training, the in-person training, and applied/paid for all of my required clearances. However, once I actually started volunteering, I realized that, due to my own experiences, counseling people in crisis caused me a massive amount of anxiety; I would go over every phone conversation in my head, wondering if I had said something to make the caller’s situation worse. Organizations that work with volunteers are very, very used to it.

A reader writes: I am a manager at a nonprofit and hire part-time workers to work in recreation-type centers across the city. Since they are working with kids, adults, volunteers, stakeholders, etc., strong interpersonal skills are part of what we look for. However, interviews make people nervous, and it can be a little hard to judge those skills in interview (but not impossible — we generally do a pretty good job). My question is about checking references and getting managers to talk about interpersonal skills with us. How frank can I be when asking past managers about social skills?

A reader writes: I’m a few months into a new position that I’m not entirely sure I’m qualified for. This new role would more typically be filled by someone with a strong tech background; an understanding of network protocols, some basic programming skills, and probably a few years of sysadmin experience. My background is in something completely different – I’ve got a graduate degree in a social science and nearly 15 years of work experience in very academic nonprofits that directly relate to that degree. always ask how I’m doing, and what I can do better.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. Client accidentally said rude things about my team in a voicemail to me. recently had a voicemail from a dissatisfied client with whom we frequently collaborate. She had called to notify me of a mistake made by my department, but at the end neglected to hang up her phone properly before commenting on my team’s lack of intelligence and other similarly unflattering remarks. Of course I plan to follow up with her on a course of action to address her initial complaint, but should I make any mention of the end of her message? What do I say?

Last week’s post about the interns who were fired for petitioning for a better dress code got a huge amount of attention across the internet and beyond — it ended up getting covered by the Today Show, the Daily Mail, and a whole bunch of other places. Much of the commentary on it was of the “kids today” hand-wringing variety. Today at Inc., I’ve reprinted the piece but with an intro about the internet’s response. You can read it here. internships

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on anything work-related that you want to talk about. If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to talk to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please don’t repost it here, as it may be in the to-be-answered queue :). open threads

A reader writes: I recently learned that there’s a rumor at my office (a company of ~250 employees) that I am involved with a male work friend of mine. This news is extremely upsetting since there is no truth to it. While we do talk quite a bit at work, it has never “crossed the line.” We’re both happily married, don’t have romantic feelings for one another… our friendship is strictly platonic. This friend and I frequently have lunch together, but always with other friends and always in the office cafeteria. We don’t do one-on-one lunches, we’ve never left the office together, etc. Please help!

Here are four updates from letter-writers who had their questions answered here recently. 1. How likely am I to be a top candidate the second time around ? Writing an update because I know everyone loves those and also a happy ending! They ended up getting back to me two weeks earlier than they told me they would and gauged my interest. This surprised me as I didn’t know if they would get back to me at all. They didn’t make me an offer straight away but wanted me to talk to some additional VPs/higher-ups via Google Hangouts, so I did have to do additional interviews. even 1.5

Three interesting things —. 1. generally stay away from articles that purport to know what millennials want because I think most of what’s written about millennials is ridiculous , but that feeling was trumped by my general love of slamming open office spaces. In some better news, there’s a growing trend in big tech companies to offer much-longer-than usual parental leave.

If you’re asked to cover for a coworker who’s on vacation – whether it’s just filling in for the person at a few meetings or handling all of their client calls – you might worry about what it’s going to do to your workload. At QuickBase’s Fast Track blog today, I talk about how to  cover for a coworker without doubling your own workload – including what to get from the coworker before they leave. You can read it here. You may also like: how to tell if an employee’s workload is too high my team’s workload is too high — what should I do? work habits

I love Slate’s Dear Prudence advice column, and I am a huge fan of their new Prudence, Mallory Ortberg , so my head basically exploded when Mallory asked me if I wanted to come on their new podcast and answer questions with her. We answered a bunch of (non-work-related!) questions from Mallory’s readers, including one about friend dumping and one from a mom whose gay son wants to go to a conservative religious college. We also talked about fake letters! And we talked about the letter-writer here who racked up $20,000 in personal debt on his company credit card.

Lots of short updates from letter-writers who had their letters answered here in the past — 1. HR stole my parking space   (#2 at the link). There was some fantastic advice from yourself and the AAM community and I would like to thank you all. have had a handful of informal conversations with my department managers and immediate colleagues, but aside from some head shaking and amazement that anyone would even do that, nothing has really happened. The person who assigns spots has said that they will be reshuffled ‘soon’ anyway, so this may become a complete non-issue. updates

Three interesting things —. 1. Would you want your employer to pay for your wedding? Because that’s now a thing at at least one company, it turns out. You’re likely to love this piece by Aimee Groth about how some companies’ benefits are getting a little more intimate than they probably should. 2. “We are in the Age of Authenticity, where ‘be yourself’ is the defining advice in life, love and career,” writes Adam Grant in the New York Times. If I can be authentic for a moment: Nobody wants to see your true self.

A reader writes: I was recently recruited for a new role at a Company A, a major corporation with offices around the country. When they first reached out to me several weeks ago, I was very upfront that while I might consider relocating to the company’s headquarters in Michigan, my strong preference would be to stay in California (where I currently live and where most of the employers in my industry are based) or relocate to Chicago (where I’m from). When we got to the offer stage, the company said they wanted the position based in Michigan. Should the company have mentioned it sooner?

A reader writes: I work for a small company (under 20 employees, plus approximately 50 independent contractors over 30 states). The big boss has decreed that this year we shall have a mandatory all-staff (and all-contractor) jamboree, hosted here in my city where the head office is located, on November 7, 8, and 9. November 8th is Election Day. When Big Boss first brought this up in our all-staff meeting, there was an awkward silence, and Big Boss sort of shrugged and said “All the other dates at the venue were booked. Good thing there’s early and absentee voting!”. Thus, two questions: 1.

A reader writes: I am a single mother to an 8-year-old and a 19-month-old. My youngest gets sick quite often, and when she needs medical attention or simply a day home from day care, I don’t really have anyone to rely on to help me out. This usually means I have to miss work when she is sick. In the past 2 months, I had take 3.5 sick days for her and to leave work early twice. I’m anxious this is going to reflect poorly on me, especially since I just started my job here 3 months ago. What can I do, besides finding alternative child care, to prevent this from reflecting poorly on me?

Over at QuickBase’s Fast Track blog today, I take a look at several big work-related stories in the news right now: why you should stop doing low-value work, how your phone is killing your productivity , and more. You can read it here.

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on anything work-related that you want to talk about. If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to talk to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please don’t repost it here, as it may be in the to-be-answered queue :). open threads

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. Should I invite my boss to dinner at my house? I’ve been thinking it might be nice to invite my boss and his wife to my home to have dinner — but I keep having second thoughts about it. I’ve been at the job five years. My boss is a vice president and I’m one of six directors under him. He’s met my husband and I’ve met his wife at company holiday parties. The boss and I occasionally chat about non-work-related things like travel or sports, but have not socialized outside of the office at non-business events.

Does any of this sound familiar: • You send a work email at midnight and get a reply five minutes later. • You come into the office early to get some work done without interruptions and your in-box has already filled up with messages sent from coworkers  the night before. • You get the distinct sense that people are checking work email as soon as they wake up in the morning and as the last thing they do before they go to sleep at night. When coworkers go on vacation, there’s not much difference in their workflow, because they keep everything moving from afar. You can read it here.

What if instead of getting a specific number of paid days off each year, you were allowed to take off as much time as you wanted to, as long as your work got done? Some portion of you are thinking “that sounds awesome,” while some portion of you are suspiciously thinking “but what if my work is never really done?” ” Both groups are right — these policies can be awesome, but they can also result in some unforeseen consequences that are not so awesome. At U.S. News & World Report today, I talk about some of the potential downsides of unlimited vacation.

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on anything work-related that you want to talk about. If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to talk to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please don’t repost it here, as it may be in the to-be-answered queue :). open threads

Three interesting things —. 1. A new paper from the National Bureau of Economic Research examined the employment and earnings of 1.4 million people who attended for-profit colleges (like University of Phoenix, etc.). Stay far away. 2. If you want to read something by a jackass, here’s a CEO describing how he schedules interviews for 6:30 a.m. so he can judge how people react: “Sure, I get up early. think that’s important. in order to learn about his character. 3. BravoTV’s website did a piece on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. My company pretends that former employees still work here. I’m concerned that my company is doing something that’s illegal: after an employee leaves, they continue to use that employee’s email address to contact clients as though that employee were still working there, and when a client calls, they just tell them that the employee is out of the office. This continues for months at a time, because they don’t want our clients to know how much turnover we have. How can I address this? It’s certainly not ethically okay.

A reader writes: I’m a long-time reader and have learned so much from your site! However, I am now dealing with a situation for which I’m not sure where the ethical lines lie. recently noticed that a friend of mine has been misrepresenting the major with which she graduated on her LinkedIn profile and on her company’s website. She is also reporting her major GPA as her overall GPA (by not including any indication that this is her major GPA), which is substantially higher than the latter. Am I making too big of a deal about this? What are your thoughts on this? new grads

Y’all, New York magazine did the greatest profile of Ask a Manager yesterday. I love everything about it, except that apparently I say “I mean…” constantly. But I feel like the writer really gets the site and what’s going on here.  Read it here! You may also like: marital status in a cover letter a quick lesson in not stealing should you list a fun but fake fact on your resume to intrigue an employer? New York magazine on Ask a Manager was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. have to work with someone who sexually harassed my friend. very well-respected member of my small professional field sexually harassed my friend while working with her. The employer punished him accordingly, and quietly/discreetly, so not many people know about it. He’s still very active in the field. My friend has been dealing with depression since the incident happened (she has been getting a lot of help, and is working through it, but it’s hard). Is there a protocol for how to navigate this relationship? Thanks! That’s it!

A reader writes: I was recently promoted at my job and am managing two of my coworkers. For one of the people (Lucy), this is a new position. She was on our team but in a different capacity. Her position was eliminated and the company moved her to my old position and promoted me. The company did create a new position that is essentially Lucy’s old position but made certain skills a requirement that this she didn’t have. Lucy wasn’t doing everything in her old position that they needed someone to be able to do. Overall, the quality of her work has been okay. good management

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. Sending a group photo to a grieving coworker. have a question for you about a coworker who recently lost her child to horrific circumstances. In a show of support, another colleague suggested that we take a group photo of the employees. feel uncomfortable with this idea. associate group photos, especially in an office setting, with joyful occasions (company picnics, community events, etc.), and I worry that the grieving coworker will perceive the group photo as bizarre, if not disrespectful. What is your opinion? Don’t do it. Is this legal?

Over at QuickBase’s Fast Track blog today, I take a look at several interesting work-related stories in the news right now: how “theme days” might make you more productive, really good tips for stopping a meeting from dragging on and on (even if you’re not the person running it), and more. You can read it here. work habits

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. Pregnancy, deli meats, and working lunches. just found out I’m pregnant, and I’m really excited and happy about it. have told my direct supervisor, who is very supportive, and we have a great parental leave policy. But for a number of reasons (it’s still very early, there are some potential risks, I’m not quite ready yet) I am not sharing the news with my coworkers and would prefer not to until I am much further along. I’m not showing and not getting sick at work, so there is no way they would know.

It’s the Friday open thread — as well as my birthday! The The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on anything work-related that you want to talk about. If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to talk to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please don’t repost it here, as it may be in the to-be-answered queue :). open threads

A reader writes: My adult daughter became very sick with vomiting, diarrhea, and lower back and serious abdominal pain. called an off-duty medical friend and was given instructions of what to do. The next morning, I awakened my daughter to give her another dosage of pain reliever. She was hoping she would be able to report to work at the beginning of her shift; however, a couple of hours prior to that time, she began feeling the same as as the night before. offered to call her boss. She and I both understand that, if possible, it is her responsibility to report an absence. workplace practices

Here are three updates from people who had their letters answered here in the past. 1. My boyfriend is pressuring me to act as a big sister to his trainee. spoke to my boyfriend about my discomfort about his insistent of me emailing his colleagues and such, and although he said he’d respect my wishes, that he couldn’t understand why it was strange to him. He said his company wasn’t conventional anyway and he’d always wanted to be unconventional too. tried my best explaining it but he just couldn’t understand so we just left it as is. First of all, I got the job!

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. Can I discourage friends from applying for a job in my department? just finished grad school in a field where work is hard to come by. I did find a job after graduating and have been there about six months. It’s actually not in the field I studied, but there are lots of transferable skills, and I really love it. One of my coworkers is leaving, so we’ll have a vacancy soon in my department. With many, I’d feel comfortable telling my boss (the hiring manager) that I don’t think it’s a great fit. They may not.).

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go…. 1. Recovering from a period of lower performance at work. How do you gracefully recover from a period of poor performance at work without either making excuses or throwing yourself much further under the bus than is actually necessary? And how do you rebuild a slightly tarnished reputation (or figure out if it actually *got* tarnished anyway)? The background is, I suffer from severe depression and moderate anxiety, which are both well-controlled by medication and usually don’t affect my work much. However, is this a terrible idea? Apply!

Three interesting things that have come across my radar recently —. Someone shared this article in the comments recently — it’s a pretty great look at how social class plays out at work, and specifically about the ways that it can be tough to adjust to white collar environments when you grew up in a blue collar family. • I really loved this piece about why you shouldn’t instantly react to new ideas. “Man, give it five minutes” is going to stick with me. have no sense of whether this bill has any chance of going anywhere, but thought people would be interested.

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on anything work-related that you want to talk about. If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to talk to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please don’t repost it here, as it may be in the to-be-answered queue :). open threads

Last week’s post about a 12-paragraph midnight rant about office supplies revealed that we all love a good rant, especially when we can just watch from the sidelines. So we need more. This is a call to share the best office rant you’ve ever received via email (or voicemail or other methods, for that mater). We’ll define the scope of acceptable rants as widely as possible — customer rants count, as do blaze-of-glory resignation letters. You You can summarize the rant below, or you can post it in its full glory if you’re willing to. ask the readers

Remember the letter-writer whose boss was pressuring her to consult after she left for a new job (#4 at the link)? Here’s the update. Thank you so much to you and your readers for your advice/reassurance. I’ve been in my new role for about a month now and am doing well. It’s been a steep learning curve in a number of ways but I’ve been working really hard to get caught up. I’m so glad that I didn’t end up doing the consulting — I’d have been burned out for sure. There were two instances that solidified my decision to say no. updates

If you’ve ever worked with someone who lacked a sense of urgency, you probably spotted it pretty quickly: Work languished, reminders were needed to push things forward, and the person generally didn’t seem terribly invested in how quickly things happened or whether they happened at all. As destructive as that can be when it’s one person, it’s far more damaging when it’s a whole team. You can read it here. was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager. good management

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go…. 1. My employee keeps inviting himself into my conversations. I am currently having an issue with an employee on my team who reports directly to me. Every time someone comes to speak to me at my desk, he injects himself into the conversations and turns it into a kind of group discussion. Sometimes it’s our director who wants to speak to me about work, and this person rolls around his chair and starts joining in by nodding and agreeing with what’s being said. Or should I just approach it directly as a standalone issue? Maybe. This is tricky.

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. This one is truly no work and no school. If you have a work question, you can email it to me or post it in the work-related open thread on Fridays.). Book recommendation of the week:   A Thousand Pardons , by Jonathan Dee. After her husband’s own public self-destruction, a woman discovers that she has a talent for getting others who need to repair their public images to apologize. open threads

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on anything work-related that you want to talk about. If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to talk to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please don’t repost it here, as it may be in the to-be-answered queue :). open threads

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…. 1. CFO is pushing for an unfair, unethical internship for her son. Our VP of compliance emailed and my direct supervisor and me (we’re in Human Resources) to say that the CFO’s son is going to do an internship with her (the CFO). He will be doing financial auditing on behalf of compliance. She stated in her email that she didn’t think it was a conflict of interest. She also said we should amend our conflict of interest policy because it currently says that as a member of the executive team, the CFO cannot hire a relative.

A reader writes: My department recently started doing business with a company (now in a 10-year contract) that has started putting religious quotes on their invoices. For example, the latest one says “Honor God in all we do.” They’re all about that same level of religious-ness. Some people are uncomfortable signing invoices with religious quotes because they are non-religious, and have likened it to feeling like they signed up to work in a non-religious place but now have religion foisted upon them on a daily basis. We value diversity and inclusion, and those are not just buzzwords to us.

A reader writes: I am a department head at a small financial firm. Recently I began hosting weekly meetings for our 25-person business team, which is comprised of other department heads and their teams. For the first couple of weeks, things were going relatively smoothly, but recently one department head has been hijacking every meeting. He shows up late, he stands during the meeting instead of sitting (which isn’t really a problem other than the fact that it is distracting and odd), and he interrupts people’s presentations to interject his own thoughts, opinions, and agendas.

You might think that if you do good work, that’s all your boss will care about. But most managers care an enormous amount about attitude and interpersonal skills as well. If you’ve ever been told you have a “bad attitude” or an “attitude problem,” that’s a real danger sign for your career, or at least for your current job. At U.S. News & World Report today, I break down what “bad attitude” really means. You can read it here. and when should and shouldn’t you talk to them? what does it mean if your boss says you have a “bad attitude”? work habits

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on anything work-related that you want to talk about. If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to talk to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please don’t repost it here, as it may be in the to-be-answered queue :). open threads